A new Twlight
by Music of the wind
Summary: Eward and Bella are married and they have a two year old daughter. How far will Eward and Bella go in order to protect their little girl? Will they only give up their home? Or will they throw away their lives in place of their daughter's.
1. Bella's dream

**Bella's Nightmares**

The next few weeks went by in a blur for Bella. She tried her best to be strong for Christina and not to let Edward see her cry. At night, however, Bella found herself to be plagued by haunting nightmares. She tossed and turned in her sleep, trying to wake herself up from the terrible nightmares.

One night Bella's nightmares had been so bad she ran to the bathroom and violently vomited into the toilet. Edward heard her and said in a concerned voice, "Bella, what's the matter? You aren't pregnant again are you?"

Bella tried to stand up but her legs were shaking so hard she fell onto the cold tile floor again. She shook her head slowly and said in a raspy voice "No, Edward. I just had a nightmare, that's all. It's stupid really; please just go back to bed."

Edward helped Bella stand up on her wobbly legs and asked, "Do you want to talk about it? It must be something if it's making you so sick."

Bella rinsed her mouth out and then said, "The Volturi tried to take Christina from me. Charlie knew you were a vampire. I'm so scared, Edward. I just want to get the hell out of here."

Edward softly rubbed circles on Bella's back, trying to calm her down. Then he said, "Bella, my Bella Shh. Nothing is going to hurt you. When you're ready come to bed all right, we'll leave in morning, Bella. I promise that you and Christina will be safe."

Bella sniffled and said, "Edward, I'm scared. I can't protect her forever. She's my baby and I can't always protect her."

Edward softly said, "Bella, hush. I won't let anything happen to you or her. Don't be scared, Bella. I will protect you. Four years ago, Bella, nothing scared you. Now you're a scared little girl."

Bella hugged Edward and said, "I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't be scared because you'll protect me."

Edward said, "Its cold in here, you should be in bed. Come on, Bella. We have a big day tomorrow. Do you want me to take the Volvo?"

Bella sighed and said, "I'm too tired to think. Edward, you said that driving wasn't safe. Why would we take the Volvo? Oh, I get it, you just didn't want to take my truck."

Edward said, "Your truck is loud and slow, Bella. It wasn't a safe car to drive when you're running for your life. Plus, Bella, he built that car for you. The last thing you need is to drive it."

Bella sighed and said, "No don't take the Volvo. Edward, I know this is going to sound crazy but I want to fly. That will be the last thing they would expect and it'll be perfect. The plane would be relaxing and I could breathe for once. It would be just you, Christina and me. I wouldn't have to think about running or the Volturi."

Edward nodded and said, "All right, I'll book the tickets and you get straight into bed, Bella. No more bad dreams ok, love."

Bella nodded and followed Edward into the bedroom. She was almost grateful when Edward tucked her in and kissed her cheeks. Bella hadn't had restful sleep in three weeks. After a few minutes Edward teased, "Do you want me to leave the light on, sweetheart?"

Bella was too tired to say anything in protest; she just frowned and snuggled deeper into the blankets. A few hours later Bella woke up to Christina tugging on her quilt. Christina said, "Mommy, I'm scared. Can I sleep with you and Daddy?"

Bella started to say that Christina needed to sleep in her own bed. Edward cut her off and said, "Get up here, munchkin. Oh, you're getting a little big for this. That better, sweetheart? I'm scarier then anything that would be hiding in your closet or under your bed. Closet monsters are terrified of vampires so you're perfectly safe. Isn't that right, Bella?"

Christina sniffled and snuggled under the covers beside Bella. Edward bunched the covers tightly around her and kissed her cheeks. Then he tickled her until she fell asleep. After Bella was sure Christina was asleep she said. "Edward, what are you teaching her? She needs to sleep in her own bed. What happens when she's grown up and we are here when she gets scared?"

Edward lightly kissed Bella and said, "She's only two and a half, Bella. Let me baby her a little while longer."

Bella frowned and said, "I'm sorry, Edward, I'm not mad at you. I just haven't gotten a good nights sleep in over a week."

Edward sighed and said, "The good thing is she's not afraid of vampires anymore. I just wish that I could take away all of her fear. Bella, I always know how to make you feel safe but with Christina I can't. Most fathers know how to make their children feel like nothing bad can happen as long as he's there with them. I can't do that and it makes me feel helpless."

Bella sighed and said, "Edward, look at her, she's not afraid now is she? I would have just taken her back to bed. She feels safe wedged in between us. I've said it once and I'll say it again you are best for my baby."

Edward smiled and said, "Bella, you always know what to say. I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't met you."

Bella suddenly gasped for breath and ran into the bathroom. Tears stung in her eyes but she was too stunned to cry. She was positive that she had heard Jacob's voice. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on it. Bella heard, _"Bells, you need to rest. I'm still watching out for you no matter what. I won't let the things from your nightmares hurt you. Go to sleep, Bells. I love you."_

Bella opened her eyes when a cold hand touched her cheek and said, "Are you ok, Bella? Was it something I said?"

Bella fell into Edward's arms and sobbed into his chest. After she had caught her breath she said, "I heard him, Edward. Jacob said he is still watching over me."

Edward smiled and said, "Of course he is, Bella. Now you need to get back into bed. I love you, Bella."

Bella wiped a tear away from her cheek and said, "I guess you're right, Edward. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch these past few weeks. I've just been so nervous because of – I don't know why."

Edward lightly kissed Bella's forehead and said, "Bella, you do know why. Please tell me what's bothering you."

Bella sighed and said, "I'm nervous because for the first time in my life I'm holding someone else's in my hands. I guess I'm afraid you're a better father then I am a mother."

Edward sighed and said, "Bella, that's the dumbest thing I've heard. You're a wonderful and strong woman and you're a perfect mother. Like you said before, Christina feels safe wedged in between us. Do you feel any better Bella? Bella – Bella – are you asleep?"

Edward turned his head and saw that Bella had fallen asleep on the floor in the hallway. He laughed softly and gently carried her into the bedroom. In the morning Edward woke Bella and said, "I'm sending you and Christina to Alaska today. I will join you in three weeks time."

Bella bit her lip and said, "Edward when I said I wanted to get the hell out of here I meant all of us. Why aren't you coming with us?"

Edward said, "Bella, I have to stay with my family. I don't want to leave until the wound of Alice's passing has closed. I'm sorry, Bella, but Alice would want me to stay and keep the family together."

Bella rolled over so Edward wouldn't see her cry. After a long time Bella choked out in a voice hoarse with unshed tears, "I understand, Edward. I guess I'll see you in three weeks. I love you."

Edward heard the tears choking Bella's voice and gently took her face in his hands. Then he said, "Bella, it's ok to cry. I'll come home as soon as I can. I'll drive you and Christina to the airport as soon as you're ready. Come here, Bella, that's it, just let it out. There, that's better."

Bella cried until she fell asleep on Edward's chest. Edward rubbed small circles on her back gently. A little while later Christina woke up and crawled across the bed to where Edward was sitting with Bella lying on his chest. She said, "Daddy, do you know what today is?"

Edward laughed and said, "It's your mommy's birthday. You didn't think I'd forget did you?"

Christina hugged Edward and said, "What did you get mommy?"

Edward smiled and said, "I got her plane tickets to Alaska so she could spend time with just you. Doesn't that sound like something fun and special? You're plane leaves in three hours so go pack you things."

Shortly after Christina left the bedroom Bella stirred in her sleep and blinked her eyes several times. Edward put his arm behind her and helped her sit up. After Bella had rubbed the sleep from her eyes she said, "God, I feel terrible! Edward, what happened? Stop looking at me like that, Edward, I probably look like crap right now."

Edward sighed and said, "Bella, do you remember what I said before you went back to sleep?"

Bella said, "Blinking is really painful. What was I doing before I fell asleep?"

Edward sighed and said, "Your eyes hurt because you've been crying. With everything that went on this morning I forgot to wish you a happy birthday. Don't look at me that way, Bella. I know you hate birthdays but Christina is really excited. She even asked me what I got you."

Bella sighed and said, "I have a feeling I can't have what I want. Edward, do you have to stay here for three weeks, please come to Alaska with me and Christina."

Edward let out a very deep sigh and said, "Bella, you need to get out of Forks. It's not safe for you and Christina to be here another day. I can't be selfish and keep you here. Your flight is in three hours so we need to get going. Are you packed, Bella?"

Bella sniffed and said, "Ouch my eyes hurt; I'm going to miss you, Edward."

Edward gently said, "I'll be home as soon as I can. You and Christina are my life and I'm only doing this to keep you safe."

Bella sighed and said, "Living without you in my life, Edward, is worse then any nightmare."

Edward tenderly kissed Bella's cheek and said, "Why is that love?"

Bella started to cry again and said, "It's worse because at least when I have nightmares, I know I'll wake up and it's over. If you leave then I'm forced to believe that this isn't a dream."

Edward sighed and said, "Bella, I'm coming back to you as soon as I can. I promise I'll call you and Christina every night."

Bella forced a smile and said, "I guess I'm ok with it, as long as you swear that you'll come home to me and wake me from my waking nightmares."


	2. saying goodbye

**Saying Goodbye**

An hour later Edward shook Bella awake and whispered "Don't wake up Christina I'll carry her. Are you ok Bella?"

Bella spoke quietly and said "I'm fine ok. It's just so hard to- oh never mind. I'm fine Edward; let's just grab what little we can carry and run."

Edward pulled Bella close and said "You're not fine. I might not be able to read your mind but I can see the pain in your eyes."

Bella pushed Edward's arm off her shoulder and said bitterly "I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to Jacob. Christina loved him Edward; maybe we could rest at his place until morning."

Edward sighed and said "Bella we can go see Jacob alright. However we just can't stay long. I knew this would be very hard on you; I'm sorry that I'm putting you through this amount of pain."

Bella sighed and said in a more gentle tone "Edward could you carry Christina? I'm going to go grab some clothes and food for our trip. You never did tell me where we are going. I need to know how much food to pack Edward."

Edward sighed and said "Pack enough only for you and Christina Bella. I don't eat remember."

Bella said "Don't talk like that around Christina. She probably is still in shock over what you said last night."

Edward pretended to be hurt and said "When we were dating you thought it was cute when I said things like that."

Bella sighed and sadly said "That was before I was running for my life and had a baby. Now when you make statements like that I want to kick your ass."

Edward sighed and said "If I tell you where we are going will you stop being a bitch?"

Bella didn't say anything or even look at Edward. She just kept packing food and clothes into small bags. Edward walked over to Bella and said gently "I didn't mean it I'm sorry. Bella this is hard on me to. If Vampires could cry I'd be crying right now."

Bella sighed and said "Edward why are we doing this? We weren't afraid of the clan then why are we afraid now? I can't believe that I'm running from a bunch of blood sucking pigs that want to kill my daughter just because she's different!"

Edward looked away from Bella and said sadly "Are you forgetting what I am Bella? I'm one of those as you called them so bluntly blood sucking pigs."

Bella put down the bag of food that she was holding and hugged Edward. She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid and selfish. Tears filled her eyes and she sobbed hard into Edward's chest.

Edward gently lifted Bella's face so she had to look at him. Then he said "Bella I'm not mad at you. You're just stressed out about the move. Saying goodbye makes people scared, sad and angry."

Bella sniffled and said "Are you scared or angry?"

Edward sighed and said "Depends on who you think I'm angry at. I'm not angry at you Bella. I'm angry at those monsters who want to kill my daughter."

Bella sighed and said "I have to see Jacob one more time. He's been my best friend since I was little. I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to him."

Edward sighed and said "Grab Christina and we'll go. However we cannot take the car. We'll have to go on foot I'm sorry Bella."

A few hours later Bella, Edward and Christina were outside of Jacob's house. Bella lightly knocked on the door and waited for Jacob to answer. Jacob opened the door and said "Bella it's great to see you. What are you doing here so late though?"

Bella started to cry and Edward said "Jacob we don't have a lot of time to explain. Let's go inside and talk. Bella calm down. You don't want to wake Christina."

Bella sniffed and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Jacob sighed and said "Bella what ever is the matter? Edward you can go place Christina on my bed ok. The poor thing looks really tired."

Edward carried Christina into Jacob's room and laid her down on the bed. Meanwhile Bella sighed and said "Jacob I have something to tell you. Edward and I have to leave."

Jacob put his arm around Bella and said "Do you mind if I ask why?"

Bella took Jacob's hands and said "The other vampires want to kill Christina. They gave Edward a choice and he chose what he thought was best for us. I'm going to miss you so much Jacob."

Jacob hugged Bella and said "We'll you don't have to leave tonight. Where are you going Bella?"

Bella sighed and said "I don't really know Jacob. Edward didn't tell me. He just said that if they found Christina they'd kill her. I can't take that chance Jacob. Christina's safety is more important than my own."

Jacob sighed and said "Are you sure you're alright Bella? You're pretty close to having a mental break down. I think you guys should spend the night here-I mean you and Christina should stay here. Edward can leave if he wants; he doesn't seem to get the fact that you're human. If you don't rest you'll get sick."

Bella started to cry into her hands in between sobs she said "I won't leave him again. He promised we'd stay together."

Jacob snapped "So you'll stick by him even if his pace and rash behavior kills you. Bella that is the stupidest thing I ever heard. I'm not asking you to not go at all. I know that you have to go. However what I am asking is for you to talk to Edward about staying here tonight. Dry your eyes ok Bella."

Bella wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Then Edward came downstairs he saw Bella's puffy and red eyes he pulled her into a hug and said "Oh Bella, is saying goodbye really that painful?"

Bella sighed and said "I'm fine Edward. Please just tell me where we are going. I know you hate it when I get pushy but I need to know."

Edward sighed and said "Bella I think Christina is sick."

Bella gasped and said "Edward we aren't moving until she's strong enough to make the trip."

Jacob said "Bella relax alright. Edward does she have a fever or just a cough?"

Edward said "She felt hot when I laid her on Jacob's bed. She seemed very weak, I don't mean to scare you Bella but she needs a doctor now, or she could die."

Bella snapped "Wait you put her to bed tonight, if she seemed sick you should have told me. Edward sometimes you can be so impossible, she might be half vampire but news flash she's human to!"

Edward sat down and put his head in his hands. Jacob went over to him and said "I'm sure she'll be fine. You made a mistake, but that doesn't mean you aren't a great father. Christina loves you."

Bella stood up and said "I'm going to go check on Christina. Edward could you call the doctor please, I'm not mad at you. I just got a little over protective I'm sorry."

Edward sighed and said "You're right Bella; I get too obsessed with the fact she's part vampire. I do forget the fact that she's a human to. I thought I was wrong about the fever because of my hands being so cold. I'm sorry Bella."

Bella stood up and went upstairs to Jacob's room. Christina sat up on the bed and said "Mommy I don't feel well, why are daddy's hands so cold? They felt like ice mommy."

Bella sighed and said "Christina I know what daddy told you last night was a little scary. However you need to trust him. No matter what your daddy is he loves you very much."

Christina started to cry and said "Daddy is one of those monsters. I saw a lot of those monsters in my bad dreams."

Bella put a comforting arm around Christina and said "Does your daddy look like a monster?"

Christina sobbed harder into her hands. Edward and Jacob both came upstairs and said "Bella I called the doctor and he thinks she just has a bad cold. He said she needs to rest and shouldn't move around too much."

Bella sighed and said "Edward Christina is still very scared about what you told her tonight. I think you need to put her to bed tonight so she sees that you won't hurt her. Also if we're leaving in the morning we need to get some cold medicine for her. Jacob I hate to ask but could you please go get the medicine."

Jacob nodded and went to go pick up the cold medicine. Edward sat on the end of Christina's bed and said softly "Chrissie what are you so afraid of? I'm not going to hurt you. I might suck blood but I don't hurt people ever."

Christina sniffled and said "If you don't hurt people how do you feed?"

Edward smiled at Christina and said "I only go after animals. Does that make you feel better? I love you Christina and you mommy and I will never let anyone hurt you."

Christina smiled at Edward and asked "Why are your hands so cold daddy?"

Edward sighed and said "I haven't eaten yet today. Once I eat my hands will be a little less cold."

Christina said "Daddy promise me you'll never go after a cat or a dog."

Edward sighed and said "You have my word, a cat or a dog wouldn't fill me up any way. I've heard that their blood isn't as think and rich as that of a deer or a fox."

Christina coughed loudly and Edward took her hand. Bella stifled a cry with her hand and said "I know it hurts Christina. Uncle Jacob will be back shortly with your medicine."

Edward started to softly hum a lullaby to Christina. Bella closed her eyes. She knew that song, Edward had written and played it for her when they were dating. Christina burned with a high fever and both Bella and Edward we grateful that they had stopped to see Jacob before they left. Before Bella left the room she gave Christina her medicine for both her fever and her cough.

Christina protested "Mommy do I have to take this stuff? It smells awful daddy please tell me I don't have to take it."

Edward spoke firmly and said "Chrissie you have to take your medicine. You know vampires are about more then sucking blood and stuff. They have special powers at the good ones do. My power is I'm able to read minds."

Christina coughed and then asked "What am I thinking daddy?"

Bella smiled at Edward and nodded for him to continue with what he was doing. Edward gently said "You are thinking that you want to get better so you can play with Uncle Jacob. I'll let you in on a little secret you can only get better if you take your medicine."

Christina said "If you can read mommy's mind I'll take the medicine."

Edward and Bella exchanged worried glances and Bella whispered "Edward you can't read my mind."

Edward and said "She doesn't need to know that. Bella she's two and a half, it should be easy to pull one over on her. All you need to do is tell what you're thinking."

Bella said "I'm thinking that I want Christina to get better. Edward what are you thinking?"

Edward sighed and said "Not now Bella. All that matters to me is Christina's safety. First thing tomorrow we're leaving Forks and never coming back."

Bella stood up and said "We're not going anywhere as long as Christina still has a fever. Edward you're doing it again, you're forgetting that she's human to like me and can get sick and possibly die."

Edward noticed tears swimming in Bella's eyes and said "Waite for me downstairs ok. I'll get her to take her medicine and everything will be alright. I love you so much Bella."

Bella went downstairs to say a final goodbye to Jacob because she knew that Christina wouldn't have a fever in the morning. Jacob saw Bella's eyes about to overflow with tears and said "Don't cry Bella. I'm going to miss you so much when you leave. Come here I have a little gift for you before you leave to help you remember me."

Jacob handed Bella a braid of hair with beads on it attached to a necklace. Jacob fastened the cord around Bella's neck and said "When ever you miss me just hold it in your hand and I'll always be with you. I guess this is goodbye Bella, I'll never forget you or the times we've spent together.


	3. Danger for Bella

**Danger for Bella**

At first light Edward shook Bella and said "We're going to Alaska. I know that seems a little drastic but, it's the only place they won't look for us."

Bella grabbed the braided necklace in her hand and held it close. Jacob saw Bella do this and took her hand. Bella eventually said "Edward I'm not walking to Alaska, There's no way I'm riding on your back that far either."

Jacob gently said "Bella this is for Christina's safety. I know you don't want to go but it's the only way she can be truly safe."

Edward said "Bella where'd you get that necklace? I know that's not my hair in that braid."

Bella swallowed again and said "Jacob made it for me; he didn't want me to forget him. Edward how's Christina feeling? Does she still have a fever?"

Edward frowned and said "Bella that's not what I asked you. Why are you wearing a braid of his hair?"

Bella started to cry and said "Edward if you don't like it I'll take it off. He put it on me, so I wouldn't miss him so much."

Jacob sighed and said "Edward I think Christina is calling you."

After Edward left Bella ran into Jacob's arms crying. Jacob rubbed her back and said "Don't cry Bella. Edward isn't angry with you. I know you'll always miss me; but whenever there's a full moon I'll be beside you ok. Edward is coming back so you might want to dry your eyes and get off me Bella."

Bella slowly pulled away from Jacob and he lightly kissed her cheek. Edward came downstairs and said "Bella what the hell was that? You and I are married and you still kiss that monster! I'm going out, tell Christina I love her, I may or may not come home."

Jacob hugged Bella and said "He will come home Bella."

Bella sobbed into her hands "How do you know? He left once and he only came back because I was unhappy. Where am I supposed to take Christina?"

Jacob said "Edward will be home before you're supposed to leave. If the worst happens and he doesn't, I'll take you and Christina somewhere safe."

Bella sniffled and said "Jacob I'm not going to Alaska without Edward. He's the only one who gets her to go to sleep. Oh shoot what am I going to do? Like I've told Edward she's both human and vampire, he's the only one who understands her vampire behavior. What kind of mother has trouble understanding their child?"

Jacob sighed and said "Bella if you aren't quiet you're going to wake up Christina. A lot of mother's don't understand their children. My mother didn't understand me, that didn't mean that she loved me any less. Bella you're a wonderful mother, most people turn away when their child does something they don't understand, you however don't and that makes all the difference."

Bella wiped her eyes and sniffled "You're right Jacob. I need to stop crying; that's what got me into this situation."

Jacob nodded and said "I don't Edward really understands the concept of sadness. I mean no disrespect to him Bella, but when you're hurt he doesn't understand why. I think the only two emotions he understands are anger and love."

Bella sighed and took the necklace from around her neck. Jacob looked shocked when she put it in his hand. Bella dried her eyes and said "Jacob, you're my best friend and I'm going to miss you very much. However you're not a part of my family, Edward and Christina are my family. Jacob, I didn't mean it that way; you know you'll always be my brother."

Jacob didn't look at Bella when he said "You've chosen the blood suckers over your best friend! I don't know if you've noticed, Bella but he left you again. You know I'd never do that to you."

Bella went over to Jacob and put her arm around him. She started to apologize when she heard Christina crying. Bella ran upstairs and said "Christina baby, what's the matter?"

Christina sniffled and said "Mommy I saw daddy attacking someone. He promised he didn't attack people."

Bella sighed and said "Baby that was just a nightmare, dry your eyes everything will be alright ok. How are you feeling today my angel?"

Christina wiped her eyes and said "What was that song that daddy was humming to me? It made me feel so much better. Do you know that song mommy?"

Bella swallowed and said "Your daddy wrote that song for me. He played it for me almost every night before I fell asleep. It's called the river flows in you."

Christina sighed and said "Is daddy mad at me?"

Bella gently squeezed her daughter's hand and said "No, Christina your daddy loves you very much. He's not mad at all; at least he's not mad at you."

Christina started to cry again in between sobs she said "Why didn't he come to comfort me? Is he ashamed of me; is he ashamed of his half human daughter? Mommy it's my fault that we have to move, I'm sorry mommy."

Bella pulled Christina into her lap and said what she hoped was true "Daddy had to go hunting so he could get something to eat. I'm sure he'll be here for a few hours. Let me tell you something baby; the day you were born your daddy held you in your arms and said Bella she's the most beautiful angel I've ever seen."

Christina buried her head in her mother's chest and sobbed until she fell asleep. Bella sighed and just rocked Christina in her arms humming Edward's song. Just then she heard a very loud crash; it sounded like the sound of breaking glass.

Bella was about to go see what it was when she heard Jacob cry out in pain "Bella, don't worry about me! Just take Christina and go, I'll come for you when it's safe! Bella don't look back just run!"

Bella didn't stop to think about what Jacob had meant. She gently shook Christina and fought to keep her voice calm when she said "Baby I'm sorry but we need to leave now. Daddy will meet us somewhere else. Christina; I don't mean to scare you but we have to get out quickly."

Christina started to cry when she couldn't find her teddy bear. Bella sighed and picked up Christina. Then she grabbed three bags of food and two of the quilts that she'd packed before she and Edward left the house.

Christina sniffled "Mommy I can't find my teddy bear. Uncle Jacob made that bear for me; he said that as long as I had it he'd always be with me."

When Bella did speak her voice was firm but gentle she said "Christina, we won't be away forever. When Uncle Jacob tells us it's safe we'll come back and get the rest of our things."

Christina stopped crying and said "When will daddy be with us again?"

Bella felt both her heart and throat tighten when she said "I don't know baby; I really don't know. I hope he'll be with us soon. Don't be scared baby; close your eyes and I'll sing that song daddy sang last night."

Christina closed her eyes and Bella began to gently sing the familiar lullaby. Bella was surprised to find that the song made her feel the same now as she had then when Edward sang it. As she sang to Christina the familiar words she felt like she wasn't running for her life and Christina's, instead she was sitting beside Edward while he played that song for her.

Bella kept running through the woods clutching Christina and the small amounts of clothes and the rest of their supplies to her chest. Minutes felt like hours; branches scratched at her arms and tore at her legs.

Bella finally stopped in a clearing to rest and get Christina something to drink. Bella gently shook Christina and said "Here baby, drink this it'll make you feel a little better."

After Bella handed Christina a cloth filled with cold water from the stream she got a good look at the area around her. Bella blinked back tears, she knew this place. Edward had brought her here the night he had told her what he was. She wished with all her heart that he was here beside her.

After Christina finished her drink she said "Mommy when will daddy be here?"

Bella sighed and said "Daddy is always with you. Even when you can't see him, he's always in your heart."

Christina said "Mommy, I'm sorry I called daddy a monster. I was just a little scared; I know daddy will never hurt me."

Bella felt her throat tighten again; she didn't trust herself to talk so she just hugged Christina tightly. After awhile Bella decided that it was better to move to a more covered area. When Bella got up to move she heard someone walk over to her and saw a dark form.

Bella screamed "Keep your hands away from my daughter! I'm warning you, you stupid blood sucking monster!"

Instead of walking away from Bella the form said "Bella it's alright, Jacob told me where to find you. I'm sorry for running off."

That was enough for Bella she stood up and ran into Edward's arms. Edward gently kissed her cheeks and said "Don't cry Bella, I'm sorry if I scared you. I thought you would have heard me coming. Are you and Christina alright? I put you both in danger and for that I'm sorry."

Christina sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Edward let go of Bella and picked Christina up and spun her around. Christina happily said "Daddy, mommy said I was a very brave girl."

Edward laughed and said "Were you now my angel, once this is all over I'll get you a special treat. I've very proud of you Chrissie. However even brave girls need their sleep, Bella I think we need to move to an area with dense trees. I saw you and Christina even before I smelled you."

Bella nodded and said "Edward I'm sorry, I didn't realize you'd get upset when Jacob kissed me. I gave him back the braid after you left."

Christina whined "Mommy, I'm tired how much further?"

Edward said "I'll carry you alright; it's not much further now; at least not tonight. Rest your head on my shoulder and closed your eyes. I'm very proud of you Chrissie."

A few minutes later Edward set Christina down on one of the quilts, that Bella had placed down. Edward smiled and said "Bella, I thought you had out grown your fetish of facing death. It seems that even now I'm still saving you. I swear I'll be saving you until the day you die."

Bella smiled and said "Edward would you stop. You always have acted like this even when you were just my friend. You save my life one time and you blow it up."

Edward smiled again and said "It was more than once my Bella. I remember at least more than twelve."

Bella looked over at their sleeping daughter and said "You may have saved me but Christina saved us. Before she was born I wasn't sure about whether or not we could make our marriage work; but when I held in my arms Edward I realized that we had to make this work because I wanted the best life possible for my beautiful baby girl. A life with you Edward is more than what's best for my baby girl. I love you Edward, oh thank you for saving my life again. You must get so board with having to save me, I promise that when we get to Alaska, I will try very hard to keep myself safe and out of trouble."

Edward put sat down on the other blanket and pulled Bella into his lap; Then he said "My dear sweet; Bella don't you ever think that I've grown tired of saving you. Like I've told you for the hundredth time, saving you is my life now Bella. You wouldn't want to deprive me of my life would you?"

Bella started to cry and said "No of course I wouldn't. I just thought that you had grown tired of saving me. I was going to try harder to be safe no matter what. I love you Edward and I'd never want to deprive you of the meaning of your life, I want to stay with you forever and even longer than that."


	4. Edward's secret

**Edward's Secret**

Edward sat up most of the night watching Bella and Christina sleep. He gently put his arm around Bella and closed his eyes. He was thinking about something, he hadn't thought about since he'd told Bella that they had to leave Forks.

Edward was thinking about his family. He thought about Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmet. Edward missed his family very much; he heard Bella stir and removed his arm. He didn't want her to know how he truly felt about the move.

He remembered the night that he told his parents about what he and Bella had to do. Alice had over heard everything and cried herself to sleep that night. The rest of the family had been fairly supportive. Edward had known that deep down they were just as angry at him as Alice was for running away.

Edward was just about to lie down when he heard Christina crying. He got up and went over to the other quilt. Christina sobbed "Get away from me you monster!"

Edward knelt down beside the blanket and said "Chrissie it's just me. You don't need to be afraid."

Christina sobbed harder and threw herself into Edward's arms. Edward sighed and gently wrapped his arms around Christina. Bella heard Christina crying and said "Edward could you go to the stream and get her a drink please. I'll calm her down."

Edward nodded and got up. Christina sobbed quietly into Bella's chest. After awhile Christina sniffled and said "Mommy; why did daddy hurt me?"

Bella sighed and gently said "Sweetheart your daddy would never hurt you. He loves you very much; that was just a nightmare. Are you really afraid of your daddy; or are you afraid of what you are?"

Edward came back and said "How are my two favorite girls? Here Chrissie I got you some water, are you ok sweetie?"

Christina took a sip of her water and said "Daddy, I'm sorry for waking you."

Edward spoke softly and said "It's alright; you just had a bad dream."

Bella sighed and said "Do you think you can go back to sleep now? We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Are you ok Edward?"

Edward sighed and said "I'm fine Bella. You need to get some sleep."

Bella looked at Edward and said "You aren't ok; Edward your eyes are black. That only happens for two reasons; one you're thirsty or two you're angry. What's bothering you?"

Edward sighed and said "Running away from things isn't easy for me. I'm going to miss my family; Bella you don't understand what it's like for me to have to run from everything."

Bella gently hugged Edward and said "I had to leave behind someone I thought of as a brother. I know exactly what you're going through. Was Jacob hurt when you found him?"

Edward said "Bella sit down. Jacob was dying when I got back to the house. Those monsters killed him because he wouldn't tell them where you were. I had a choice either bite him and make a vampire or let him die. I asked him what he wanted and he said he would rather die than become a vampire. I'm so sorry Bella; Jacob died protecting us."

Bella burst into tears and Edward hugged her tight. After Bella had cried herself out she said "Would you have saved him? I know that you both hated each other, don't lie to me Edward."

Edward took a deep breath and said "Bella, no amount of hatred prevents me from doing what is right. I tried to save him but he wanted to die. You don't really think that I wanted him to die do you?"

Bella started to cry again, Edward held her very close and kissed her cheeks. Christina heard Bella crying and went over to her mother. Christina asked "Are you alright mommy?"

Edward scooped Christina up and said "Chrissie your mommy is fine, you should be asleep my angel. Come on lie back down and I'll tuck you in. Goodnight Chrissie."

After Chrissie was asleep Edward walked back over to Bella. He felt awful about upsetting her. Bella sniffled and said "Edward; why did you tell her to go back to bed? I need to tell her – tell her about Jacob."

Edward sighed and kissed Bella's hair. Then he said "Jacob wouldn't want you to be sad Bella. He died while saving yours and Christina's life. I didn't leave him alone either; I stayed by his side until he died. Bella he wanted you to have this back. Lift your head so I put it around your neck."

Bella gasped when Edward put the braid of Jacob's hair around her neck. Then said "You said you didn't want me to wear this, why are you giving it to me now?"

Edward sighed and said "Bella that was before I realized how close you two were, that was before he saved your life. I don't want you to forget him Bella. I can't help thinking that if I hadn't left- he wouldn't be-oh Bella I'm so sorry."

Bella said "Don't talk like that, there's no point in blaming yourself. Jacob wouldn't want you to-Edward you don't really feel that way do you?"

Edward sighed and put his arm around Bella. Then he said "I never should have run away from you. Bella; I promised you along time ago I wouldn't ever leave again. This is my fault Bella; it's my fault that your best friend is dead. I'm so sorry Bella."

Bella wiped a tear from her cheek and said "Edward stop this, I don't blame you for anything. I love you. Now can I just go to sleep I'm really drained right now."

Edward sighed and said "I'm not helping you am I. Bella I don't think you should be left alone right now. Why are you so upset? Is there something I'm not getting here?"

Bella sobbed "Edward you tried to kill yourself when you thought I was dead; what right do you have to tell me how I should feel? News flash I don't think Jacob is dead I know he is."

Edward sighed and said "You're right Bella. I'm not trying to tell how you should feel. I'm trying to tell you how he would want you to be. Jacob would want you to be happy; I know this is hard Bella but please try to relax. I'll go get you a drink alright."

Edward got up to get Bella a drink. When he came back Bella sniffed softly and said "Thank you Edward. I'm sorry I can't be like this. I have to be strong for Christina."

Edward sighed and said "Bella it's ok to cry; Jacob wouldn't want you to lie to yourself. It's ok to be weak sometimes."

Bella stood up and said "Edward stop, you don't – you don't understand. I'm going to bed before I say something I'll regret later."

Edward gently took Bella's hand and said "I do understand; Bella I want to help you. God Jasper is so much better at this then I am. I'm you husband I should be able to help you but I can't. Here lie down and put your head on my chest like you used to."

Bella laid her head on Edward's chest and she stopped crying. Edward sighed and kissed Bella's cheeks and held her until she fell asleep. Edward heard Esme's thoughts_ "I can't believe Alice would kill herself. Edward is going to be heart broken when he finds out. I'll call him in the morning he's got enough to worry about right now."_

Edward stood up carefully so he didn't wake up Bella and then he took off running through the trees toward home. His eyes burned with tears that he couldn't shed. His body shook with sobs and he struggled for control.

When Edward got home Esme was waiting for him. She pulled him into a hug and sadly said "You heard my thoughts didn't you. I'm so sorry. Edward honey you should be with Bella. It's not safe for her to be alone."

Edward sighed and said "Esme, Bella and Christina are safe. I wouldn't have left otherwise. Both of them were asleep when I left. I just can't believe that Alice took her own life. How is Jasper taking it?"

Esme's body shook with sobs and she said "He hasn't left his room since Carlisle told him. Are you alright Edward? I know how close you two were."

Edward sighed and said "Where's Carlisle? I'm fine Esme."

Esme said "He's with Jasper; I think he's taking this harder then Jasper is. He feels like he should have been able to save her. This is just like that – that awful night where we almost lost you. Edward her funeral is tomorrow night just after sunset. I was thinking about burying her in the meadow I know that was her favorite place."

Edward said "I'm going to go help Jasper out. He's always helped me when ever I've been hurt. It's my turn now to help him."

Esme nodded and sadly said "Does Bella know what happened to Alice? I'm sure that Alice – Alice would want her there."

Edward sighed and said "Bella doesn't know anything. I wasn't planning on telling her either. The last thing she needs is to know that Alice killed herself."

Esme gently pulled Edward into a tighter hug and said "Edward you have to tell Bella. This isn't the type of thing you keep a secret. I'm sure that what ever is bothering Bella can't be as bad as what this family is going through. For the second time in my life I've lost a child. Alice might not have been my flesh and blood but I loved her just the same."

Edward didn't say anything he just stood up and went to talk to Jasper. He paused by the door and knocked on it softly then he said "Jasper its Edward we need to talk."

Jasper opened the door and hugged Edward and said "Talking isn't going to bring her back. I'm going to miss her so much."

Edward murmured softly "I know Jasper. You've always help the rest of us when we've been upset; now it's our turn to help you."

Jasper sighed and said "Why would Alice do something like this? I just don't understand why she didn't talk to me."

Carlisle spoke gently and said "Edward, Jasper there's something about Alice that you both need to understand. As you both know Alice's transformation wasn't pleasant. She doesn't remember her human life. The only thing that kept her from wanting to hurt her-self sooner was you Edward."

Edward put his head in his hands and said "She was dating Jasper; I don't understand. How did I make her feel stronger than he did?"

Carlisle sadly said "Edward family is the strongest love on this earth. Alice loved you like a brother; she didn't want to hurt you Edward."

Jasper snapped "So if Edward would have stayed and here; Alice would still be alive?"

Carlisle sighed and said "Jasper Edward didn't have a choice. He had to leave to keep Bella safe."

Jasper started to shake and yelled "Everything is always about Bella with him anymore! He probably doesn't even care that Alice is gone."

Edward sighed and said "Jasper, I do care it's just that I have a family of my own now. I had to make a choice, I feel guilty that I didn't talk to her before I left but Bella didn't know about the move yet so I had to get home."

Jasper sniffed and said "Gross Edward you smell like a dog. Do you let your daughter play with those werewolves?"

Edward said "Yes I let Christina play with Jacob. That's not the issue here Jasper. If you want to know the reason why I smell like a wolf it's because I was with Jacob when he died. That's why Bella doesn't know about Alice yet. She's going through enough without having to worry about me. I'll tell her my terrible secret on my own time and in my own way."

Carlisle said "Edward Alice's funeral is tomorrow. It's just after sunset. Can you tell Bella by then so she can say goodbye? Alice would want Bella to say goodbye. I love you son. Send our love to Bella alright."

Edward said "Carlisle Bella is having trouble right now. She just lost her friend. He died saving her life and Christina's because I was stupid and ran away. I've already put her in enough pain I'm not doing that again. I'll tell her when I think she can handle it."

Rosalie knocked softly on the door and said "Edward please don't go. I want our family to be together tonight."

Edward hugged Rosalie's shaking form and said "Shh. I'll stay ok, take a deep breath and calm down."

Rosalie sighed and just held on to Edward very tight. Then she said "I can't believe that a few years ago that I almost caused you to do this. I'm sorry Edward."

Carlisle sighed and said "Edward, does Bella have any clue where you are?"

Edward put his head in his hands and said "She was asleep when I left. I didn't think about waking her up to tell her. If those things find her and Christina I've left them defenseless and alone."

Rosalie sighed and said "If Bella doesn't know you're here you shouldn't stay. Promise me that you'll come to Alice's funeral before you and Bella go to Alaska. I know this probably isn't the time for this but you reek. What did you do sleep with a werewolf? That better not be the other secret."

Edward sighed and said "I'll explain everything later. I feel guilty about some pain that I've caused Bella. I don't feel comfortable talking about that yet."

Carlisle sighed and said "Edward it's alright, you can have your secrets. Now get back to Christina and Bella before you scare them into thinking you've ran off."


	5. Lies end at Sunset

**The Lies End at Sunset**

Bella woke up when Edward came back. She yawned and said "That's why I got so warm. When did you get up? I thought I was with – Jake for a second, Edward I was hoping last night was just a bad dream."

Edward sighed and said "Bella, please don't cry. Jacob is in a better place. Now slide over so I can lie down beside you again. You face is really flushed Bella. I need to cool you down."

Bella sighed and said "When did you get up? Edward why won't you tell me, did you have to hunt or something? I might have a fever but I'm not stupid. What's bothering you?"

Edward said "Bella there's been a change of plans, we aren't leaving for a few days. I thought you'd want to go to Jacob's funeral. Plus you aren't feeling well. Carlisle wants you to rest at our house. Christina is going to want to see her Aunts and uncles before we leave. Charlie already got to say goodbye but my family didn't."

Bella coughed and said "It's not safe for us to stay in Forks another day. Are you crying Edward? What happened last night? I hate it when you lie to me, if you don't tell me what happened I'll just ask Alice."

Edward took a deep breath and fought to keep his voice even. When he did speak he said "This isn't a conversation for daylight. Let's talk about this at sunset. Now go to sleep Bella. I love you."

Bella sighed and said "Edward when I wake up you'll stop lying to me. What are you teaching Christina if you keep lying to me like this?"

Edward sighed and said "I hate it when you used that against me. Now be quiet and go to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a rough day. I heard what the pack is thinking. Emery is having a lot of trouble and Sam feels like he didn't teach him enough. Bella I'm not even sure if I want to tell you what I'm thinking."

Bella kissed his cheek and said "When I get up you're going to tell me, whether you like it or not. I love you Edward."

Edward forced a smile and said "I'll take Christina to my house in when she wakes up. I don't think she should be at Jacob's funeral."

Bella sighed and said "Edward Jacob was an important person in her life. What am I supposed to tell her? Don't ask me to lie to our daughter."

Edward said "Bella I think your fever is higher than before. Please close your eyes and relax. I think this fever is stress related. Bella what are you theories about what I'm thinking?"

Bella sighed and said "We've been here before; Edward why can't you just tell me?"

Edward said "I want to know what to know what you think. Not being able to read your mind drives me nuts."

Bella closed her eyes stress combined with her fever made it hard for her to think. Edward seemed to sense this and stood up and went to get her a drink. Before he could get to the stream he heard Christina crying. He went over and scooped her up in his arms.

Christina sniffled and said "Daddy I saw uncle Jacob die."

Edward took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Then he said "Chrissie go back to sleep, your mommy and I will explain everything to you in the morning."

Christina sobbed "Daddy I'm afraid, I wish Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were here."

Edward sighed and fought the pain in his heart then he said "You'll see both Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper tomorrow but you have to go to sleep first. I love you Chrissie."

Christina buried her face into Edward's shirt and cried until she fell asleep. Bella heard Christina crying and said "Edward you didn't tell her did you?"

Edward sighed and said "I didn't tell her anything about Jacob or – never mind. Bella she just had a nightmare go back to sleep."

Bella sighed and said "Edward what's bothering you? Why don't you want Christina at Jacob's funeral? Why is it more important or as you put it better for her to be with your family? Did Alice have a vision? If she did have one just tell me. Like I said I want what's best for Christina."

Edward calmly said "Alice had a vision that there was some trouble at home with Jasper. She and I both agree that seeing Christina will help him."

Bella put her arm around Edward and said "Edward is there anything I can do? I care about Jasper just as much as you do."

Edward sighed he hated lying to Bella it made him feel sick. He took a deep breath and said "Bella there's nothing you can do; Jasper will be fine I just need to go stay with my family for a few days. I can either take Christina with me or both of you can spend a week in La Push."

Bella sighed and said "Edward I can't impose on Billy. He's going through enough right now dealing with Jacob's death but I think Christina needs to say goodbye to Uncle Jacob."

Edward gently put his arm around Bella and said "How about this Bella; you go to Jacob's funeral alone and then meet me and Christina in our meadow at sunset."

Bella started to cry again and said "Edward I can't believe that I have to say goodbye to Jacob. He's my best friend and I miss him so much."

Edward sighed and said "I know how that feels. When I thought that I'd lost you years ago I tried to do what I did because I missed you in a terrible way Bella."

Bella sniffed and said "You'll be there right. Edward I can't go through this alone, I know you and Jacob didn't exactly agree on things but I need you beside me."

Edward kissed Bella's cheek and said "Bella I told you I can't. What's going on at home is something that I shouldn't leave Esme to handle alone. Bella how can I put this gently? Carlisle and the others are my family. Family always comes first. However I will walk with you to the boundary line. Be safe ok Bella."

Bella sighed and said "Alright Edward if that's how it has to be. I'm meeting you in our meadow at sunset. I at least need to have Christina with me so I don't break."

Edward nodded and said "Christina makes Esme feel better. She's at her wits end with Jasper. Alice did something terrible and it broke his heart. Bella can you make it for a few hours by yourself, my family needs me more than you do right now."

Bella said "We should wake up Christina. Edward I think I should head over to La Push myself just so I can have a few minutes to say goodbye in my own way."

Edward sighed and said "Bella you are something else. I still haven't figured you out. First you don't want to be alone and then you do. What's next you decide you would have rather married the werewolf?"

Bella sighed and said "I need to say goodbye in my own way. That doesn't mean that I don't want you near me. Like I told Jacob before we got married I'm a vampire girl no matter what."

Edward smiled and said "I was only kidding. Don't cry Bella. I'll go wake Christina while you go wash your face."

Edward gently shook Christina's shoulder and said "I'm sorry baby but you have to wake up. I know it's early."

Christina whined and rolled over so her back was to Edward. Then she said in a tired voice "Five more minutes please daddy."

Edward sighed and said "If you don't get up I'm going to have to tickle you. Don't you want to see Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper?"

Christina sat up and said "Daddy I'm still tired, can you carry me?"

Edward sighed and said "Come here my angel. Grandma Esme is really looking forward to seeing you. Now what does my perfect little girl want for breakfast?"

Christina smiled and said "What does daddy eat?"

Edward laughed and said "You can't eat what I eat. Your mommy would kill me. Now how about I get you some of your favorite cereal?"

Bella came over and said "Edward do I look ok in this dress?"

Edward stood up and said "You look perfect, Bella where did you put the bags of food? I wanted to get Christina some breakfast."

Bella sighed and said "It's beside our quilt, Edward don't worry about me I'm not hungry. Christina honey, be good for daddy. I have to go spend some time with Uncle Jacob."

Christina gave Bella a hug and asked "Can I go see him to mommy?"

Bella felt a lump grow in her throat and she didn't trust herself to talk. Edward sighed and said "Chrissie you'll have more fun with me. Maybe if you're good Uncle Emmet will take you for a ride. Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle have a surprise for you."

Christina smiled and said "Do you think Aunt Alice will tell my fortune?"

Edward laughed and said "Maybe if you're a good girl for me."

When Edward and Christina reached his house Esme was already outside. She gave Christina a hug and said "My you've gotten big; I think you might be able to beat Uncle Emmet in arm wrestling. That is if it's alright with your father and Emmet isn't busy."

Christina said "Thank you grandma. Where is Emmet grandma? Daddy can I wrestle with Uncle Emmet I promise I'll be careful?"

Edward laughed and said "Go pester Uncle Emmet. I'm sure he'll be happy to wrestle someone who he can't beat easily, don't get too rough though."

After Christina went inside she asked "Your daughter seems pretty happy, I'm guessing she doesn't know about Jacob or Alice yet. Is Bella coming tonight or does she not know?"

Edward sighed and said "Bella and I didn't think she was old enough to have to see death. That's why she's spending the day with me. To tell you the truth I've been trying not to think about Alice. I was hoping that at sunset the pack could play with her."

Esme sighed and said "Edward Alice wrote letters for the family. Since Christina won't be at the funeral I thought she could receive hers now. Do you want to read it to her or can you handle it?"

Edward sighed and said "This is going to break her heart."

Esme sighed and said "Is Bella going to be here or not?"

Edward sighed and said "Esme Bella doesn't even know about Alice yet. I wasn't going to tell her until I had to either. She started crying this morning I wasn't going to make it worse."

Esme was about to say something when Christina came running outside crying. Edward scooped her up in his arms and gently said "Chrissie what is the matter sweetheart? Did Uncle Emmet hurt you? Calm down honey and tell daddy what happened. Grandma will make it all better."

Christina sobbed and said "Uncle Jasper told me that Aunt Alice is dead. He said that I'll never see her again. Why would Uncle Jasper lie to me? I don't understand daddy."

Edward sighed and softly said "Chrissie look at me, your Uncle Jasper wasn't lying. Aunt Alice died yesterday. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Wipe your eyes sweetie and daddy will take you for a ride."

Christina sniffled and said "I want mommy and Uncle Jacob. Does Aunt Alice know I love her?"

Edward hugged Christina and said "Honey Aunt Alice knew you love her and she loved you very much. Esme could you calm her down please; I have to go call Bella and have a word with Jasper."

Edward went inside and found Jasper sitting in a chair sobbing. He went over to him and said "Why did you do that to my daughter? I know you miss Alice buddy, we all miss her but telling Christina that she'd never see her again was the wrong way to handle it."

Jasper sighed and said bitterly "Since when did your daughter become more important then your own brother?"

Edward firmly said "She's two and a half years old Jasper, she needs my protection."

Jasper snapped "What's your excuse with Bella? She's an adult and you're still always with her! Why do you let her play with werewolves? What are you teaching Christina?"

Edward sighed and said "I'm teaching her to accept people who are different. That werewolf that Bella is saying goodbye to saved my daughter's life; When Bella gets here Jasper I don't want to hear a word about her smell, which includes her blood to. She's having a rough day and needs some support."

Jasper sighed and said "Edward I'm sorry, I just miss her so much."

Edward hugged Jasper and said "I know Jasper but attacking me isn't going to bring her back. I miss her to now I have to call Bella so when Christina starts crying she's not shocked."

Jasper said "I should go give the kid a hug and apologize. I'm sorry for hurting her. I thought she knew about Alice."

Meanwhile in La Push Bella was hugging Billy and sobbing into his chest. She couldn't believe that Jacob was really gone. Billy said "Bella it's alright. Jacob made this for Christina. I know she's too little for it now but, when she's older she can wear this."

Bella sniffed and took the necklace in her hand. The charm was a wolf standing howling at the moon. Bella started to cry again and through her tears she said "This is how he would want to be remembered. He was always strong, brave, and proud. He loved Christina with his whole heart no matter what. Oh god I miss him so much. Great who the hell would call me now, excuse me I have to take this."

Bella answered the phone and heard Edward say "Bella I'm sorry for calling but Christina has been hurt. Jasper said some things he didn't mean because he's upset. I hate to ask this but could you meet me early? Christina needs her mommy right now."

Bella sighed and said "Edward what are you talking about? Jasper would never hurt Christina. I'll meet you at sunset like we planned, I can't leave Jacob Edward. If I leave I'll have to believe that he's truly dead."

Edward sighed and said "Bella do you want me to come out there?"

Bella started to cry and said "No just stay with Christina. She doesn't know about Jacob yet and I don't want her to see him like this. I had timing wrong, apparently only the wake was this morning."

Edward sighed and said "Bella what time is the funeral and burial?"

Bella sniffled and said "The funeral and burial are tonight at sunset. Edward could you put Christina to bed, I have to be here with him."

Edward sighed and said "Bella you have to be at our meadow tonight. I can't tell you why right now because I don't want to make you more upset."

Bella sniffed and said "Edward forget what I said; I need you please."

Edward sighed and said "Hush Bella you're alright. I'll be there as soon as I can. Do you want me to leave Christina here or bring her with me?"

Bella sighed and said "I can't hide this from her anymore. I love you Edward thank you so much."

Bella got off her cell phone and fell to her knees sobbing. Emery went over to her and said "Bella Jacob wouldn't want you to be like this. You have no reason to cry, he died rescuing your bloodsucker."

Bella sobbed harder and Sam gave her a hug. Then he said "Emery don't blame Bella for what happened. Jacob died protecting the people he loved."

Bella wiped her eyes when she felt a cold hand touch her arm. Edward sighed and said "Bella what am I going to do with you?"

Bella lifted her face and said "Edward now is not the time for jokes."

Christina ran over to Bella and said "Are you ok mommy? Please don't cry anymore."

Bella sniffled and said "Come here my angle. Your Uncle Jacob wanted me to give you something. Close your eyes so I can put it around your neck."

Christina did as Bella asked and was surprised when she opened her eyes and saw a small charm of a wolf howling at the moon. She gave Bella a hug and asked "Where's Uncle Jacob? I want to thank him for this necklace."

Bella sighed and said "Your Uncle Jacob is gone sweetie. Remember that he loved you very, very much and will always be with you."

Christina started to cry and Edward hugged both her and Bella. Then he said "Come here Chrissie. Early this morning you said you had a nightmare and saw this happen. Do want to talk about it?"

Christina sobbed harder and said "It was terrible daddy; three vampires said they would kill him if he didn't tell them where I was. He fought so hard but he was bitten. Daddy I thought you promised that vampires didn't go after people. I thought you promised that you didn't bite people. You said that you'd bite him. Why did you lie to me?"

Christina pulled away from Edward and Bella. Then she ran down to La Push beach and fell to her knees sobbing. Edward tried to run down to her but Bella gently said "No Edward I got her."

Bella went down to the beach and knelt beside her daughter. Christina flung herself into her mother's arms and sobbed until her eyes were dry. After Christina had cried herself out she sniffled and said "Why did daddy want to bite Uncle Jacob?"

Bella sighed and said "Christina your daddy didn't want to bite Uncle Jacob. He only made the offer to try and save his life. You have no reason to be afraid."

Christina snuggled into Bella's chest and said "You said Uncle Jacob is always with me; can I talk to him?"

Bella sighed and said "Yes sweetheart. He won't talk back but he'll listen just like when he was alive."

Christina said "Mommy I'm sorry I hurt daddy's feelings. Will he ever forgive me?"

Bella smiled and said "Of course he will honey. Daddy understands that you are scared. Now you and I should go see Uncle Jacob."

Christina stood up and walked beside Bella up the hill back to the reservation. Edward sighed when he saw his daughter's tear stained cheeks. He picked her up and said "Chrissie are you alright? I'm sorry that I scared you."

Christina said "Daddy I'm ok."

Edward smiled and kissed Christina's cheek. Then he said "Good, are you ok Bella? I know that this wasn't the best time to bring that up."

Bella sniffed lightly and said "Don't worry about it; Edward could you take Christina to see Emily? I need a minute to get my head wrapped around this."

Edward said "Sure Bella, do you want me to come back?"

Bella started to cry and said "Please don't leave me. I can't face this alone."

Edward gently touched Bella's cheek and said "I'll be right back. Bella I promise that I won't leave again. There now Bella you can't cry like this with Christina here."

Bella nodded and said "I know Edward. I just need to get my bearings and I'll be fine. Christina honey you're going to go with daddy for a while."

Christina hugged Bella and said "Mommy I want to stay with you."

Bella sighed and rubbed Christina's back. Edward said "You remember your great aunt Emily don't you? She needs some comfort she and Jacob were very close."

Christina said "Daddy I don't want to leave mommy. She needs me to. Uncle Jacob needs me."

Bella picked Christina up in her arms and sadly said "Sweetheart I love you. I'll be fine I promise."

Christina started to cry and said "Mommy how can I talk to Uncle Jacob if I'm not with him?"

Edward said "Is that why you don't want to be with me?"

Christina sniffled and sadly said "Yes daddy, I have to see him."

Edward said "Bella what do you think? Do you mind if she says goodbye?"

Bella sighed and said "Edward I have to be strong for her. I can't let her see me freaking out like this. However if you're here I think that I can keep myself from freaking out."

Edward sighed and said "Bella after this is over you have to come to our meadow. There's something I need to tell you but I'm not sure how to do it."

Bella sighed and said "Edward if you have to tell me something just do it. I hate it when you lie to me."

Edward sighed and said "Bella honey I'm not lying to you. This thing is just really tough on my family. Esme and Jasper are taking it the worst. I'm not sure how to handle it myself let alone tell you what's wrong."

Bella smiled and said "Edward please just tell me what's wrong. If you want to know what I think, you're scaring me."

Edward sighed and said "I'll tell you when I can deal with it. I still haven't swallowed it myself yet. Now Christina let's go see Uncle Jacob."

Christina stood beside Bella and Edward during Jacob's funeral. Bella took Jacob's hand and sadly said "Jacob you've been my sun for most of my life. I know these past few years haven't been easy but we got through it. I'm going to miss you so much."

Christina noticed that Bella was close to tears and said "Daddy is mommy ok?"

Edward picked Christina up and said "Sweetie death is just a very, how do I put this in a way for you to understand? Death is very hard on your mother. She'll be fine stay close to her and don't misbehave please."

Christina started to cry into Edward's shoulder and he gently bounced her on his hip. Bella sighed and said "You haven't done that since she was a baby. Here hand her to me. You said that she was getting to big to be a daddy's girl. Why are you being so gentle all of a sudden?"

Edward sighed and said "I made a mistake Bella when I didn't comfort someone when they needed me. Let's just say that what happened to my family really touched me. I can't loose our daughter Bella. She has to know that I love her."

Bella gently put her hand on Edward's free shoulder and said "Now you're really scaring me. Is something wrong with Alice or Rosalie?"

Edward struggled to keep his voice even and said "Bella remember that thing I tried to do after I thought you were dead?"

Bella shivered and squeezed Edward's shoulder even tighter. She remembered that awful night all too well and didn't like to think about it. After a long time she said "Edward please don't tell me that someone in your family killed committed suicide."

Edward sighed and said "Bella Alice killed herself. I feel like it was partially my fault."

Bella took her hand off Edward's shoulder and moved it to his cheek. Then she said "Don't ever think like that. Why would it be your fault that Alice wanted to die? Edward I'm so sorry."

Edward sadly said "She did it after I left. I should have thought something was wrong when she spent the whole night crying. If I would have spent just five minutes with her, let her know that I cared about her."

Christina softly said "Daddy I know you loved Aunt Alice. Don't be sad daddy."

Edward laughed sadly and said "Thank you sweetheart. Now go play with the pack ok."

After Christina was playing with the pack Bella said "Edward this isn't your fault. Did Alice say she needed you?"

Edward sighed and said "No but it should have been common sense. She ran up to her room crying after I said I was leaving."

Bella gently kissed Edward's cheek and said "Someone else could have helped her; I still don't understand why you blame yourself. Christina and I will be fine you should go home and be with Jasper and the rest of the family."

Edward sighed and said "Bella I have to be here with you right now. All of us can go see Alice when you're ready. I don't want to rush you."

Bella gently took Edward's hand and said "I already said goodbye. Jacob wouldn't want to be remembered like this. He'd want me to remember the simple days when the two of us fixed the motorcycles."

Edward nodded and said "Get Christina and we'll head over to my house. Esme kept asking if you were coming. She doesn't know about Jacob yet."

Bella sighed and sadly said "Edward you told Carlisle at least right?"

Edward hugged Bella and said "Carlisle is at his wits end with Jasper. I wasn't going to add anymore on to his plate."

Bella hugged Edward and said "When we get there you need to tell him. I'm sorry but he's going to want to know why I'm stressed out."

Edward sighed and said "Bella I'll tell him after he's said goodbye to Alice. He's having trouble dealing with this because he thinks he should have been able to save her."

Just then Seth came running over Edward and Bella. He said "Bella Christina won't let go of Jacob's hand. Could you talk to her please? Are you and Edward staying for the burial service? Bella I know this can't be easy for you. His last thought was that that you and Christina were safe. He died happy Bells. I know that doesn't make things easier Bells but – I just wanted you to know."

Bella put her head in her hands and said "Edward Christina and I will meet you at your house alright. I don't think she's ready to let – say goodbye."

Edward nodded and said "You aren't either Bella. I can see it in your eyes. Call me when you're ready to go and I'll take you and Christina to our meadow. Esme is insisting on burying Alice there."

Bella nodded with out lifting her head. She was terrified that her voice would break and she'd start crying again. Edward sighed and kissed Bella's damp cheeks. After awhile Bella said "Are you sure you're going to be ok?"

Edward gently said "Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine ok Bella. You just take care of yourself alright."

After Edward left Bella walked over to Where Jacob's body was. Just like Seth had told her Christina was holding Jacob's hand very tightly. Bella lightly touched Christina's shoulder and said "Honey is there something you want to talk about?"

Christina stated cry and said "This is my fault mommy."

Bella gently took Christina onto her lap and said "Shh. Don't ever think like that baby. Now it's time to say goodbye. I know it's hard but he's gone honey. Uncle Jacob is in heaven."

Christina let go of Jacob's hand and snuggled deeper into Bella's chest. The two of them sat there like that for a long time. Then Christina said "Where's daddy?"

Bella smiled sadly and said "He's with grandma and grandpa right now. Whenever you're ready sweetheart we can go see him."

Christina nodded and said "I'm ready mommy. I love you Uncle Jacob. Please don't forget your favorite niece."

Bella stood up and said "I'll be right there sweetie. I just have to call daddy and have him pick us up."

Edward answered the phone on the first ring and said "Bella are you ok? Is Christina ok?"

Bella said "Yeah we are both just peachy. Could you come get us please? Don't take the Volvo I'm in the mood for a run."

Edward sighed and said "Who are you and what have you done with Bella? You used to hate it when I'd run with you on my back."

Bella said "I still do hate it but I need to relax and so do you. I know running makes you feel better."

Edward said "Alright Bella I'll be right there.


	6. Letters written in Pixie dust and broken

**Letters Written In Pixie Dust and Broken Hearts**

A few hours later Bella was standing beside Esme and the rest of Edward's family. Christina said "Mommy can I go play?"

Bella noticed that Edward's body was shaking with dry sobs and she said "Go give daddy a hug. I think he needs you."

Christina didn't need to told twice she ran over to Edward and tugged on his pants. Edward sighed and said "What my angel? Come here Chrissie, you miss your Aunt Alice don't you."

Christina nodded and sadly said "Don't cry daddy."

Edward gently picked Christina up and said "Hush now my angel. It's ok to cry sometimes sweetie."

Esme sighed and said "Edward did you want me to give Christina her letter now or do you want to wait."

Christina slowly asked "Grandma what are you talking about?"

Edward said "Later Esme, I don't think she is ready for it. I'll read it to her Bella shouldn't have to go through anything else today."

Esme nodded and said "Edward I'll hold her for a little while you should go see your sister."

Edward handed Christina to Esme and softly said "I'll be right back sweetheart. I just have to see Aunt Alice."

Christina sobbed quietly into Esme's shoulder and Carlisle gently put his arm around both of them. Then he said "Are you ok honey? You've been through a lot these past few days Chrissie. Not a lot of little girls can go through what you have and still be strong. I'm very proud of you."

Christina sniffed and said "I miss Aunt Alice grandpa, will I ever see her again?"

Carlisle said "of course you will sweetheart but not for a long, long time."

Bella walked over to where Edward was standing. She gently touched Edward's shoulder and said "Why are you blaming yourself still? I though we blocked this already."

Edward said "Bella you don't get it! This is my baby sister, not my friend my baby sister! You have no clue what I'm going through right now!"

Christina scrambled out of Esme's arms and ran over to Bella and Edward. She started crying when she heard Bella snap "I've never understood you! Maybe this whole thing is a mistake! Maybe it would have been better if we were never friends!"

Edward started to say something when he heard Christina sobbing uncontrollably. He gently said "Chrissie come here my child."

Christina ran into Edward's arms and sobbed into his chest. Edward gently murmured "I know sweetheart I know."

Bella saw Christina crying and walked over to Edward who was sitting on the grass rocking Christina back and forth. Bella gently put her hand on Edward and said "I'm so sorry. Edward I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I'm still in shock."

Christina sniffed and said "Mommy please don't fight with daddy anymore."

Bella lightly kissed Christina's cheek and said "I'm sorry baby we didn't mean to hurt you."

An hour later Bella was sitting in the family's living room beside Edward. Carlisle came into the room with eight letters in his hand. Once everyone had a letter he said "Edward I think you should read Christina's to her first."

Edward picked Christina up off Bella's lap and said "Chrissie your Aunt Alice has something for you. Sit still and I'll read it to you."

Christina sighed and snuggled deeper into the shelter of Edward's arms. Bella reached over and took Christina's hand. Then she said "Edward you don't have to do this. Read your letter first, I can read Christina hers ok."

Esme sighed and said "Bella I need to speak to you privately for a minute."

Bella let go of Christina's hand and said "I'll be right back baby."

Once Bella and Esme were outside Bella asked "Esme what did you need to talk to me about? Edward needs me right now and so does my daughter."

Esme sighed and said "Bella let Edward help Christina come to terms with this. He feels like he has to protect her. I know his actions aren't making sense right now. I need to you to understand that he feels like he didn't take care of Alice."

Bella asked "Esme what does Christina have to do with Alice? I love Edward but sometimes he drives me nuts. I don't understand his logic when he feels guilty."

Esme smiled sadly and said "Think about what I said Bella. Now let's go inside so I can have a minute with my daughter."

Bella nodded and followed Esme back inside. Edward saw the look on Bella's face and said "Tell me what you're thinking."

Bella whispered "Now really isn't the time for that. I love you but what I'm thinking isn't going to help you right now."

Edward sighed and said "Bella why won't you just tell me? Don't you trust me? I know I got mad at you but I just miss my sister so much. Alice meant just as much to me as you do. I just can't believe that she did this."

Bella gently touched his shoulder and said "It's ok to cry Edward. I'm here for you I promise. Sometimes in order to wrap your head and heart around something you have to cry."

Edward started dry sobbing into Bella's shoulder. In between sobs he choked out "Bella please don't leave. I need you to stay here with me. Thank you for convincing me to let this out."

Bella nodded and said "Shh. I'm not going anywhere. Why don't we read our letters from Alice together? I think that might make the pain a little less."

Rosalie came over and said "Do you guys want me to take Christina outside to play?"

Bella nodded but Esme said "Bella remember what you and I talked about."

Bella swallowed and then said "She and Edward need each other."

Edward picked his head up and said "Thank you Bella. Come here my little angel. I'm sorry I scared you."

Christina smiled and said "You didn't scare me daddy. Everybody cries sometimes that just proves that you're human."

Bella sighed and said "Edward do you want to read her the letter now or later?"

Edward pulled Christina onto his lap and took a letter from his pocket. Bella held Edward's hand tightly as he slowly read "Christina I love you very much. I'm sorry that we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. I know that you'll grow up to be a strong independent young woman. Stay true to yourself and remember that I'm very proud of you. Love always Aunt Alice."

Christina started to cry and Bella held her close to her close. Edward sighed and said "Sweetheart are you ok?"

Christina sniffled and said "I'm going to miss her daddy. Why did she have to go?"

Edward bit his lip and looked at Bella. He was hoping that he wouldn't have explain this to Christina. Esme sighed and said "Edward why don't I take her into the kitchen. I think you and Bella need to talk."

Edward leaned into Bella's arm and she put her hand on his cheek. After a long time Bella said "Are you ok? Look at me Edward. I know you want to help our daughter but you need to take care of yourself."

Edward sighed and said "Bella – you and Christina are all that matters to me."

Bella stroked Edward's cheek and said "Don't start this again. I love you Edward."

Esme came back into the room and said "Edward I think you should read Alice's letter now; you to Bella."

Edward took Alice's letter out of his pocket and read "Edward I'm sorry that it had to end like this. I don't want you to blame yourself. I love you, take care of yourself Edward. You were always my favorite brother. Love your sister Alice."

After Edward finished reading he dry sobbed into his hands and Bella hugged him close and stroked his hair with her free hand. Esme sighed and said "Bella can I have a minute with my son please. He needs me right now."

Bella lightly kissed Edward's cheek and said "Shh. I'll be right back. I'm just going to check on Christina."

After Bella had left the room Esme sat beside Edward and softly said "Edward its ok honey. Alice wouldn't want you to be like this."

When Bella came back into the living room she was shocked to see Edward dry sobbing into Esme's shoulder. Esme softly murmured "Shh. It's alright baby Shh. I'm here."

Bella resisted the urge to run to Edward and hug him. She didn't want to interfere with what Esme was trying to do. A while later Jasper got up and said "Esme do you need some help? I've been trying to calm him down but he's under such a large amount of stress that I can't swallow it. Come on Edward she was my wife but you don't see me carrying on like this. What would Alice think? You're scaring Bella. The amount of concern she's feeling is making me sick."

Edward lifted his head and said "Come here Bella, I'm sorry I shouldn't be acting like this."

Bella sighed and ran into his arms. Esme carefully eased herself out from between Edward and Bella. Then she said "I think you've got it from here, I go play with Christina and make you something to eat."

Bella carefully wrapped her arms around Edward and softly said "Her letter got to you didn't it? I know you were upset before but I didn't think you missed her that much. I'm sorry."

Edward put his arms around Bella and said "As long as your heart is still beating I'm alright. Are you cold Bella?"

Bella shivered but she said "No I'm alright. I'm just worried about you. I've never seen you cry like that. "

Edward softly kissed Bella's cheek and said "You're shaking Bella. If you aren't cold then why are you shaking? Oh shit Bella your hands are like ice! As much as I want you to stay on my lap you need to get up."

Bella protested "No I – I-"

The rest of her statement was cut off by a series of loud sneezes. Edward said "Bella you've sat on me too long. I think you have a cold. I need to get you warm and into bed. Don't worry about me. I'm so sorry Bella. I'm such an idiot."

Bella sneezed again and then said gently "I'm fine Edward. It's only a cold. I've lived through much worse then this."

Edward sighed and said "Come on Bella I'll take you up to my room and get you into bed. Have you eaten today?"

Bella shook her head no and said "I'm not hungry."

Edward frowned and said "Bella at least have something to drink please. I'll have Esme make you some green tea with honey. That should warm you up. Now get some sleep I love you Bella."

Bella whispered "Edward you'll sit with me right?"

Edward sighed and said "Bella you're sick because of me. I don't want your cold to get any worse. I'll sit on the couch until you fall asleep."

Bella nodded and said "Can you put lemon in the tea? My throat really hurts."

Edward said "I'll be right back Bella. Close your eyes ok."

When Edward came back into his bedroom Bella was asleep and was to his dismay having a nightmare. He lightly brushed his cool hand up against her sweaty cheek and softly murmured "I'm here Bella, hush now love. I won't let anything hurt you again."

In a few minutes Bella woke up screaming and gasping for breath. Edward sighed and said "What happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

Bella leaned into Edward's shoulder and nodded. After she caught her breath she said "I was in our meadow by myself when I saw Alice, Alice yelled at me and said it was my fault that she was dead. She said that I made you a different person and that you didn't love her anymore. Edward I'm so sorry."

Edward pulled away from Bella gently and said "God no, Bella what happened is in no way your fault. Now do you think you can go to sleep if I sit with you?"

Bella wiped a tear from her eye and said "No, I don't think I can. I'm too wound up to sleep."

Edward sighed and said "Hush now Bells. I'm here I'm not going anywhere."

Bella sniffed and sadly said "W- What did you just call me?"

Edward sighed and said "I'm sorry I forgot he called you that. Bella, love please try and sleep. I got your tea."

Bella took a deep shuddering breath and buried her face in Edward's neck sobbing. Edward picked her up and slowly rocked her in his arms. He didn't let go of Bella even after her sobs had quieted down into just small hitches in her breathing. After Bella seemed to relax he laid her back on the bed.

Bella sighed and said "Edward I should have-."

Edward cut Bella off and said "Bella don't be sorry. I know what it's like to feel like your heart is breaking. I never should have called you that. You miss him and it's ok. Are you feeling any better?"

Bella nodded and said "Edward stop it. I'm fine alright."

Edward nodded and took his arm from around Bella. However he didn't take his eyes off her. After a long time he said "Just rest Bella. I'm going to be right here beside you. Nothing is going to hurt you again."

Bella sighed and said "I should go check on Christina. How long was I asleep?"

Edward smiled and said "Not long Bella; Christina's already in bed. I took care of it. Lie down Bella. God you're pale Bella, I think I want Carlisle to take a look at you."

Bella sneezed and said "No Edward that's not necessary. I'm fine. It's probably just the cold."

Edward shook his head but said "You need to eat something Bell – I mean Bella. Is this about Jacob?"

Bella slowly nodded and said "Edward I miss him so much. I don't think I can eat right now. Did Christina go to bed easily for you?"

Edward sighed and said "Yeah but she wouldn't take off a necklace. I wasn't sure if it was ok for her to sleep with it around her neck. I didn't want her to choke herself. Bella what do humans like to eat when their hearts are broken?"

Bella sniffed and said "Edward its called comfort food. I usually prefer ice cream or chocolate."

Edward smiled and said "Bella if I go buy comfort food would you eat it? What kind of ice cream do you like?"

Bella thought for a second and said "Butter pecan is my favorite. Edward you don't have to do this. What is your comfort food?"

Edward laughed and said "Grizzly bear or mountain lion. They're fun to take down because they require a lot of effort."

Bella smiled and said "Go hunting Edward. You need to eat something your eyes are black and you have dark circles under your eyes. I'll be fine by myself for a few hours."

Edward lightly shook his head and said "I'll go hunting after you eat something. Bella I'll go to the store and get your comfort food. When I come back you will eat and then get some sleep."

After Edward left Bella got out of bed and went into the room Christina was sleeping in. Christina stirred in her sleep when Bella crouched on the floor beside the bed and stoked her forehead. Bella softly said "Honey you have to take the necklace off. I know you miss Uncle Jacob but you could choke yourself."

Christina yawned and said "Mommy I thought you'd understand. When I wear this he's always with me."

Bella sighed and said "I do understand but you need to take it off. Daddy found your teddy bear. I'll go get it for you."

Christina sniffled and said "Mommy I want Aunt Alice."

Bella light took her daughter's hand said "I know baby we all do. Now I'll go get your teddy bear. I love you Christina. Lie down I'll be right back."

Bella stepped out of the room and franticly searched for Christina's teddy bear. Then she found it under the couch. Bella looked at the bear and saw that it wasn't a bear at all. She saw that it was a stuffed wolf. The sound of Christina screaming brought Bella back into reality.

She calmly walked into the room and prepared to tell her daughter something that Jacob had left her all the clues for. Bella knelt beside the air mattress that Esme had blown up for Christina to sleep on. Then she said "Christina let me see that necklace for a minute."

Christina struggled with the clasp of the necklace and started to cry when she saw in fall on to bed broken. Bella carefully picked it up and said "Christina I'm sure we can fix it. Daddy is usually pretty good at fixing things. Now I want you to get some sleep. I have something to tell you in the morning."

Christina sniffled and said "Mommy where's my teddy bear?"

Bella sighed and said "Here Christina now get some sleep. I just came in to say goodnight."

Christina said "I'm afraid that if go to sleep I'll loose you and daddy."

Bella spoke gently and said "Daddy went out to get me some ice cream. If you promise to go right to sleep you can have some. When I was a little girl my mom believed that ice cream was the best thing for fear or a broken heart. I remember when my dog had to be put to sleep. I was so upset I cried for hours and then my mom made me this huge ice cream sundae and I felt a lot better. I'm not saying that I didn't still miss him but it covered up some of the pain I was feeling. Would you like some ice cream Chrissie?"

Christina said "Can I sleep in yours and Daddy's room."

Bella gently said "You're a big girl Christina. Big girls sleep in their own beds. I'll sit with you until you fall asleep. Now give me a hug and try to sleep."

A little while later Edward came back and was surprised to find Bella sleeping on the air mattress beside Christina. He gently ran his fingers through Bella's hair and carefully picked her up. He carried her into their bedroom and placed her on the bed. He kissed her cheek and thought that even if she was heartbroken she was still the most beautiful person he'd ever met.


	7. Bella's Nightmares

**Bella's Nightmares**

The next few weeks went by in a blur for Bella. She tried her best to be strong for Christina and not to let Edward see her cry. At night however Bella found herself to be plagued by haunting nightmares. She tossed and turned in her sleep trying to wake herself up from the terrible nightmares.

One night Bella's nightmares had been so bad she ran to the bathroom and violently vomited into the toilet. Edward heard her and said in a concerned voice "Bella what's the matter? You aren't pregnant again are you?"

Bella tried to stand up but her legs were shaking so hard she fall onto the cold tile floor again. She shook her head slowly and said in a raspy voice "No Edward. I just had a nightmare that's all. It's stupid really; please just go back to bed."

Edward helped Bella stand up on her wobbly legs and asked "Do you want to talk about it? It must be something if it's making you so sick."

Bella rinsed her mouth out and then said "The Volturi tried to take Christina from me. Charlie knew you were a vampire. I'm so scared Edward. I just want to get the hell out of here."

Edward softly rubbed circles on Bella's back trying to calm her down. Then he said "Bella, my Bella Shh. Nothing is going to hurt you. When you're ready come to bed alright, we'll leave in morning Bella. I promise that you and Christina will be safe."

Bella sniffled and said "Edward I'm scared. I can't protect her forever. She's my baby and I can't always protect her."

Edward softly said "Bella hush. I won't let anything happen to you or her. Don't be scared Bella. I will protect you. Four years ago Bella nothing scared you. Now you're a scared little girl."

Bella hugged Edward and said "I'm sorry. You're right I shouldn't be scared because you'll protect me."

Edward said "Its cold in here you should be in bed. Come on Bella. We have a big day tomorrow. Do you want me to take the Volvo?"

Bella sighed and said "I'm too tired to think. Edward you said that the car wasn't safe. Why would we take the Volvo? Oh I get it you just didn't want to take my truck."

Edward said "Your truck is loud and noisy Bella. It wasn't a safe car to drive when you're running for your life. Plus Bella he built that car for you. The last thing you need is to drive it."

Bella sighed and said "No don't take the Volvo. Edward I know this is going to sound crazy but I want to fly. That will be the last thing they would expect and it'll be perfect. The plane would be relaxing and I could breathe for once. It would be just you me and Christina. I wouldn't have to think about running or the Volturi."

Edward nodded and said "All right I'll book the tickets and you get straight into bed Bella. No more bad dreams ok love."

Bella nodded and followed Edward into the bedroom. She was almost grateful when Edward tucked her in and kissed her cheeks. Bella hadn't had restful sleep in three weeks. After a few minutes Edward teased "Do you want me to leave the light on sweetheart?"

Bella was too tired to say anything in protest she just frowned and snuggled deeper into the blankets. A few hours later Bella woke up to Christina tugging on her quilt. Christina said "Mommy I'm scared. Can I sleep with you and Daddy?"

Bella started to say that Christina needed to sleep in her own bed. Edward cut her off and said "Get up here munchkin. Oh you're getting a little big for this. That better sweetheart? I'm scarier then anything then would be hiding in you closet or under your bed. Closet monsters are terrified of vampires so you're perfectly safe. Isn't that right Bella?"

Christina sniffled and snuggled under the covers beside Bella. Edward bunched the covers tightly around her and kissed her cheeks. Then he tickled her until she fell asleep. After Bella was sure Christina was asleep she said "Edward what are you teaching her? She needs to sleep in her own bed. What happens when she's grown up and we are here when she gets scared?"

Edward lightly kissed Bella and said "She's only two and a half Bella. Let me baby her a little while longer."

Bella frowned and said "I'm sorry, Edward I'm not mad at you. I just haven't gotten a goodnight sleep in over a week and then she woke me up."

Edward sighed and said "The good thing is she's not afraid of vampires anymore. I just wish that I could take away all of her fear. Bella I always know how to make you feel safe but with Christina I can't. Most fathers know how to make their children feel like nothing bad can happen as long as he's there with them. I can't do that and it makes me feel helpless."

Bella sighed and said "Edward look at her, she's not afraid now is she? I would have just taken her back to bed. She feels safe wedged in between us. I've said it once and I'll say it again you are best for my baby."

Edward smiled and said "Bella you always know what to say. I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't met you."

Bella suddenly gasped for breath and ran into the bathroom. Tears stung in her eyes but she was too stunned to cry. She was positive that she had heard Jacob's voice. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on it. Bella heard _"Bells you need to rest. I'm still watching out for you no matter what. I won't let the things from your nightmares hurt you. Go to sleep Bells. I love you."_

Bella opened her eyes when a cold hand touched her cheek and said "Are you ok Bella? Was it something I said?"

Bella fell into Edward's arms and sobbed into his chest. After she had caught her breath she said "I heard him Edward. Jacob said he is still watching over me."

Edward smiled and said "Of course he is Bella. Now you need to get back into bed. I love you Bella."

Bella wiped a tear away from her cheek and said "I guess you're right Edward. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch these past few weeks. I've just been so nervous because of – I don't know why."

Edward lightly kissed Bella's forehead and said "Bella you do know why. Please tell me what's bothering you."

Bella sighed and said "I'm nervous because for the first time in my life I'm holding someone else's in my hands. I guess I'm afraid you're a better father then I am a mother."

Edward sighed and said "Bella that's the dumbest thing I've heard. You're a wonderful and strong woman and you're a perfect mother. Like you said before Christina feels safe wedged in between us. Do you feel any better Bella? Bella – Bella – are you asleep?"

Edward turned his head and saw that Bella had fallen asleep on the floor in the hallway. He laughed softly and gently carried her into the bedroom. In the morning Edward woke Bella and said "I'm sending you and Christina to Alaska today. I will join you in three weeks time."

Bella bit her lip and said "Edward when I said I wanted to get the hell out of here I meant all of us. Why aren't you coming with us?"

Edward said "Bella I have to stay with my family. I don't want to leave until the wound of Alice's passing has closed. I'm sorry Bella but Alice would want me to say and keep the family together."

Bella rolled over so Edward wouldn't see her cry. After a long time Bella choked out in a voice hoarse with unshed tears "I understand Edward. I guess I'll see you in three weeks. I love you."

Edward heard the tears choking Bella's voice and gently took her face in his hands. Then he said "Bella its ok to cry. I'll come home as soon as I can. I'll drive you and Christina to the airport as soon as you're ready. Come here Bella, that's it just let it out. There that's better."

Bella cried until she fell asleep on Edward's chest. Edward rubbed small circles on her back gently. A little while later Christina woke up and crawled across the bed to where Edward was sitting with Bella lying on his chest. She said "Daddy do you know what today is?"

Edward laughed and said "It's your mommy's birthday. You didn't think I'd forget did you?"

Christina hugged Edward and said "What did you get mommy?"

Edward smiled and said "I got her plane tickets to Alaska so she could spend time with just you. Doesn't that sound like something fun and special? You're plane leaves in three hours so go pack you things."

Shortly after Christina left the bedroom Bella stirred in her sleep and blinked her eyes several times. Edward put his arm behind her and helped her sit up. After Bella had rubbed the sleep from her eyes she said "God I feel terrible! Edward what happened? Stop looking at me like that, Edward I probably look like crap right now."

Edward sighed and said "Bella do you remember what I said before you went back to sleep?"

Bella said "Blinking is really painful. What was I doing before I fell asleep?"

Edward sighed and said "Your eyes hurt because you've been crying. With everything that went on this morning I forgot to wish you a happy birthday. Don't look at me that way Bella. I know you hate birthdays but Christina is really excited. She keeps asking me what I got you."

Bella sighed and said "I have a feeling I can't have what I want. Edward do you have to stay here for three weeks, please come to Alaska with me and Christina."

Edward let out a very deep sigh and said "Bella you need to get out of Forks. It's not safe for you and Christina to be here another day. I can't be selfish and keep you here. Your flight is in three hours so we need to get going. Are you packed Bella?"

Bella sniffed and said "Ouch my eyes hurt; I'm going to miss you Edward."

Edward gently said "I'll be home as soon as I can. You and Christina are my life and I'm only doing this to keep you safe."

Bella sighed and said "Living with out you in my life Edward is worse then any nightmare."

Edward tenderly kissed Bella's cheek and said "Why is that love?"

Bella started to cry again and said "It's worse because at least when I have nightmares, I know I'll wake up and it's over. If you leave then I'm forced to believe that this isn't a dream."

Edward sighed and said "Bella I'm coming back to you as soon as I can. I promise I'll call you and Christina every night."

Bella forced a smile and said "I guess I'm ok with it, as long as you swear that you'll come home to me and wake me from my waking nightmares."


	8. Christina's Gift

**Christina's Gift**

Edward took Bella and Christina to the airport. He hugged Bella one more time and said "Bella I'll be with you in three weeks ok love."

Christina tugged on Edward's pants and said "Daddy why can't you come with us?"

Edward smiled at his daughter and said "Come here Chrissie. You're getting a little too big for this. Alright up we go."

Bella sighed and said "You will come back right? I love you."

Edward laughed sadly and said "Yeah Bella I'll always come back. Please don't cry I love you."

Christina sighed and said "Daddy will you call at bedtime so I can say goodnight?"

Edward bounced Christina on his hip and said "This is just for a little while sweetie. I promise I'll be back with you soon. Remember I told you that this is for mommy's birthday just the two of you together."

Bella smiled and said "I think that daddy better call before bed or he will be missing an arm."

Edward sighed and said "Alright I will call before bedtime. Be good for mommy sweetie I'll be home before you know it."

Christina said "Daddy how soon is before I know it? I hope it's really soon."

Edward smiled and said "That's just an expression. What I mean is I won't be away from you guys too long. Bella your flight is boarding now so I'm going to let you go. Take care of yourself ok. Remember that I love you."

Christina clung to Edward's shirt and said "I love you daddy. Please don't leave us."

Bella sighed and carefully removed Christina's fingers from Edward's shirt. Then she said "I'll see you in three weeks. You better call or I'll have Emmet rip off your arms."

Edward smiled and said "I'll call but it probably won't be for a few days. Please be patient and don't rip my arms off. If you do then I can't do this."

Edward scooped Bella off her feet and kissed her neck. Christina climbed up on the fountain and said "Don't cry mommy."

Bella smiled through her tears and said "Come here munchkin. Mommy isn't crying because she's sad. I don't know if you're old enough to understand this yet but I'm crying because I'm so happy."

Edward sighed and said "I better let you go now. Call me as soon as you are settled. I love you both."

Several hours later Christina blinked and said "Mommy is daddy thinking about us?"

Bella sighed and put Christina on her lap. Then she said "Of course daddy is thinking about us. Are you scared Christina?"

Christina sniffed and said "Mommy I hate flying. Riding on daddy's back was much more relaxing."

Bella sighed and said "I have an idea. I want you to close your eyes and get comfy on my lap. By the time you open your eyes we will have landed."

Christina did what she was told and Bella started to sing _"Baby mine don't you cry. Baby mine dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart, never to part baby of mine. Little one when you play, don't you mind what they say. Let those eyes sparkle and shine never a tear baby of mine. If they knew the sweet little you, they'd end up loving you to. All of those people who scold you what they'd give for the right to hold you. From your head to your toes you're not much goodness no. You're so precious to me, sweet as can be baby of mine."_

Christina fell asleep on Bella's lap. When the plane landed Christina woke up and said "Mommy I know that song but you've never sung it to me before."

Bella sadly smiled and said "Your Aunt Alice sang that song to you sweetie. I don't want you to forget her. Now once we get to Aunt Tanya's I want you to get some sleep. I'll call daddy so you can say goodnight."

When they reached Tanya's house Tanya led Christina to the guest room and helped her get dressed for bed. She was just about to turn off the light when Christina said "Leave the hall light on please Aunt Tanya. Mommy promised daddy would call and say goodnight to me."

Tanya walked over to the bed and said "Christina I want you to try and sleep. Your mother will kill me if she thinks I woke you up."

An hour later Bella picked up the phone and called Edward. The phone rang five times before Esme picked up. She sighed and said "Bella I'm sorry it took me so long to pick up. Edward isn't here. He went hunting with Jasper; I'm not sure when he's going to come home. I'll have him call you when he gets in."

Bella sighed and said "Esme would you mind saying goodnight to Christina please? I promised that Edward would, I should have known that he wouldn't call. Are you guys doing ok?"

Esme sighed and said "Jasper is taking this about is well as can be expected. He has it twice as hard as the rest of us. I'm sorry Bella I just miss Alice so much."

Bella sadly said "I know Esme we all do. I'm sorry I'll just tell Christina that Edward is hunting."

Esme sighed and said "Bella don't get angry with Edward. He had to make a tough choice. He wanted nothing more than to stay with you. I'll have him call as soon as he gets in. Have a good night Bella."

Bella brought the phone to Christina and said "Daddy is out hunting so Grandma is going to say goodnight. As soon as you get off the phone lie down and go to sleep ok. I love you."

Christina bit her lip and said "Mommy I want daddy to come home."

Bella sighed and said "I'll rip off daddy's arms later. Right now you need to get some sleep."

Christina said "Goodnight grandma Esme. Is Grandpa Carlisle there to?"

Esme laughed and said "He's here Christina. I'll get him just wait one second. Carlisle come here please. Your granddaughter wants to say goodnight to you."

Carlisle sighed and took the phone from Esme. He said "Hey Minnie munch isn't way passed my favorite grand daughter's bedtime? Edward won't be happy if he finds you up this late."

Christina laughed and said "I'm your only grand daughter."

Carlisle gently said "I know; that's why you're my favorite. Now sleep well my angel I'll talk to you in the morning."

Christina yawned and said "Goodnight grandpa; tell daddy I love him."

Bella took the phone from Christina, tucked her in, and turned out the light. In the middle of the night Bella woke up to Tanya shaking her hard. Bella groaned in her sleep and said "Edward it's too early for human breakfast; you can watch me hunt at a normal time."

Tanya shook Bella again and said "Christina just had a nightmare. I don't think this is a nightmare though. Did you and Edward figure out her gift yet? If not you better figure it out quick because it's terrifying her. I tried to comfort the poor child but she just wants you Bella."

Bella sat bolt upright in her bed and said "I'll be right there, why did this have to surface tonight? Edward promised he would handle this."

Bella went into Christina's room and said "Come here honey, oh you poor thing. I'll call daddy and we'll figure out what this is ok. I love you baby. Until I'm able to able to reach daddy would you like to sleep with me?"

Christina nodded and snuggled deep into Bella's chest. In between sobs she said "Mommy the nightmares won't go away. I keep seeing daddy hurting people. You said it was only a bad dream. Why doesn't it go away even when I'm awake?"

Bella sighed and said "Tanya go grab me a damp cloth from the bathroom please. Shh. Its ok baby, it's alright. Aunt Tanya is going to stay with you while I go call daddy."

Bella waited until Tanya came back into the bedroom with the cloth. Then she stood up and called Edward's cell phone. Edward picked up on the third ring and said "Bella is everything ok? I'm sorry I had to take Jasper hunting. He wouldn't go with anyone but me. I just missed a grizzly bear that would have fed me for a week. What did you need love?"

Bella sighed and said "Edward remember what happened a few weeks back? Christina had that nightmare about Jacob dieing and it was exactly what happened. I don't think that was just a nightmare. She's in the guest room right now freaking out. Edward I think she has a gift."

Edward was quiet for a long time and then he moaned "Why did this have to come now? I thought I had more time to explain this to her. I'll be there as soon as I can. Bella I'm so sorry."

Bella sighed and said "Edward we can wait. Jasper needs you right now. You need to hold your family together. I'll handle it tonight. I only called to let you know that we can't keep telling her that what she's seeing are nightmares anymore."

Edward said "Bella let me talk to her. Maybe I can calm her down enough for her to sleep."

Bella gently said "Edward I hate to say this but could you possibly run here now? I can't handle this myself. She's terrified I don't know what to say to her."

Edward sighed and said "I wish I could but Jasper needs me. If I hadn't come with him he would have refused hunting. You know as well as I do that wouldn't have been a good idea. Get some sleep Bella I love you."

Bella sighed and said "I don't think I'm going to get much more sleep tonight. I've never seen her so scared before."

Edward said "Bella love let Jasper talk to her. He can probably calm her down. Bella don't cry love."

Bella sniffed and said "I'm alright. Edward you don't know what it's like to have your daughter scared to death and not be able to take that fear away. What kind of mother can't comfort their little girl?"

Edward sighed and said "Bella I do know what that's like. Remember when she was afraid of me because I told her I was a vampire?"

Bella spoke gently and said "Edward she keeps seeing you killing people. Was there ever a time in your life that you weren't a vegetarian vampire? Don't worry I'm not going to overreact. I just need to know if I should kill Emmet for letting her watch Dracula and Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Edward sighed and said "Bella do you think I'd ever lie to you? I said that before I met you I had no desire for human blood."

Bella said "When you were first changed did you have any trouble? Edward you don't expect me to believe that you never wanted human blood even a little. If you don't tell me the truth then how can I trust you? How can I love you?"

Edward sighed and said "Bella how is relevant right now? Why would Christina be having flashes of my past? Wait did you say Emmet had my little girl watching Buffy of all things? That's probably all it is Bella. She saw the images of the vampires in that show killing people. She's scared, however you are right her gift does have something to do with it."

Bella said "What is her gift Edward?"

Edward said "Bella she has a gift similar to mine. The only difference is she doesn't see present thoughts. The reason she's seeing me killing people is because – because Bella in the past I have- I have-."

Bella cut Edward off and said "Spit it out Edward. I'm not going to judge you; please tell me why she would see you attacking people?"

Edward sighed and said "Bella don't freak out ok. The monster that I used to be is long gone. I would never hurt you love. When I was first changed I killed a lot of people Bella. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I thought you'd hate me."

Bella didn't speak for a long time eventually she said "Edward I could never, never, ever hate you. Like you said it's in the past. I know you would never hurt me."

Edward sighed and said "I wish I could read your mind. I love you Bella; tell Christina that I love her. If you want to get her to sleep sing to her. Does she still want me to say goodnight to her?"

Bella nodded and said "I think she would rather you sing because you know the song better. I'll bring the phone into the room she's in now."

Bella brought the phone to Christina and said "Daddy's is on the phone baby. He wants to say goodnight to you."

Christina sniffled hard and said "Please come home daddy. I need you to chase the nightmares away."

Edward sighed and said "I'll be home soon my angel. I need you to close your eyes and try to sleep. I love you baby."

Christina started to sob into Bella's chest uncontrollably. After a long silence Christina sniffled and said "Sing my song daddy."

Edward sighed and said "Climb into bed and I will sweetie. You have to stop crying or you won't be able to here me. For the rest of the time I'm gone I think mommy still has the CD. I made you."

Bella helped Christina climb into bed and tucked her in. Then she said "Alright Edward she's in bed."

Edward began to softly sing _"The second star to the right shines with a light for you. It tells you that the dreams you plan really can come true. The second star to the right shines with a light that's rare. If it's Never Land you need its light will lead you there. Twinkle, twinkle little star so we will know where you are. Gleaming in the skies above lead us to the land we dream of. When our journey is through each time we say goodnight, we will thank the little star the shines, the second star to the right."_

Christina yawned and said "Thank you daddy. I think I can go to sleep now. I'm not afraid anymore. I know you would never hurt me."

Edward said "That's good my angel. I think you need to sleep now. I'll see you in a few weeks. I promise my angel I'll be home before you know it. I need you to be my North Star ok."

Christina asked "What does that mean daddy?"

Edward sighed and said "I need you and Bella to be safe when I come home. The North Star is always in the same place no matter what. That's why it's a comfort when you get lost. Now get some sleep ok."

Christina sighed contently and said "Goodnight daddy. I love you."

Bella took the phone from her sleeping daughter's hand and said "I'll let you get some hunting done. I love you Edward."

Edward sighed and said "Bella don't cry. You'll scare Christina. I'll be home in a few weeks ok."

Bella sighed and said "This isn't going to be easy. Edward I forgot about her being part vampire. I thought she would just be my beautiful baby girl, now I see she's like her dad to. If her gift was like Alice's or Jasper's it wouldn't be so bad. Her gift being like yours is just too much. It scares her; it scares me."

Edward spoke gently and said "Breath my Bella. We will sit her down and explain everything to her when I get home. I love you Bella. Get some sleep alright."

Bella sighed and said "There is something else; Edward we; I never told her about Jacob. He left me a bunch of clues to tell her gently. I just never got around to it."

Edward sighed and said "Sleep on it now Bella. We will explain everything to her when I get home."

Bella yawned and said "I'll tell her about Jacob on my own. Come home soon alright."

Bella smiled and went to talk to Tanya after she hung up. Tanya said "So what is her gift?"

I bet she can see the future just like Aunt Alice. Bella what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Bella didn't even realize she had been crying until Tanya handed her a tissue. She blew her nose; sniffed softly and said "She doesn't see the future. She sees a person's past thoughts. It wouldn't be so bad if Edward's past thoughts didn't have to do with blood and killing humans."

Tanya sighed and said "Bella she has a gift like her fathers; you should be proud. Now you should get some sleep."


	9. Bedtime stories tell the truth

**Bedtime Stories Tell the Truth**

The next morning Bella made up her mind to tell Christina about Jacob being a werewolf. Edward called just as she was climbing out of the shower. Tanya answered it and said "Edward Bella is in the bathroom. I'll have her call you back. How is Esme doing? Is Jasper holding up ok? Yes I'm taking care of her. She should be out of the shower in a minute."

Bella came out of the bathroom and said "Tanya if that's Edward; tell him that I'll call back. I really can't talk right this second. Oh and don't worry about entertaining Christina today. I was thinking of taking her to the park and out to lunch for a mother daughter day."

Tanya nodded and said "Edward Bella said she'll call back later."

Edward sighed and said "Is she alright? If she needs me to I can be at your place first thing in the morning."

Tanya sighed and said "Edward stay with your family. Send my love to everyone. I swear to you that Bella and Christina are safe."

After Tanya hung up the phone she said "Bella I swear you almost got me killed. Edward is incredibly protective. I've never seen him like this before. Does he always think the worst?"

Bella sighed and said "That's the one thing I can't stand. Since he can't read my mind he overreacts when I say I don't want to talk. I should call him back before he freaks out. I'm sorry Tanya. Can you wake Christina and then we can go?"

Bella called Edward's cell and said "Edward I just called to let me know that your favorite girls are safe. How is your family holding up? I know that they are all probably really stressed out."

Edward sighed and said "Jasper is pretty bad. All of us are trying to keep our emotions in check; this way he doesn't feel our sadness and have to deal with his own. It's not easy though. I should go. I love you Bella."

Bella heard Christina's voice say "Aunt Tanya when is daddy coming home?"

Bella laughed sadly and said "Edward before you go; would you like to talk to Christina? She misses you very much."

Edward sighed and said "I'd like to Bella but- Esme please don't start crying. Jasper will be home soon. I'm sorry Bella but things are really crazy here right now. Tell Christina I love her."

Bella got off the phone and tears ran down her cheeks. She quickly brushed them away when she saw Christina come into the kitchen. Christina said "Mommy when is daddy coming home? Aunt Tanya says that it might be longer then three weeks."

Bella picked Christina up and said "You and I are going to park. I want to spend the day with my favorite girl."

Christina laughed and said "That sounds like fun mommy. Is daddy coming home soon?"

Bella sighed and said "Let's not talk about that now; grab your shoes and I'll help you put them on."

That night Bella told Tanya that she would put Christina to bed. Christina smiled and said "Mommy today was wonderful. My favorite part was when you pushed me really high on the swings. I remember when you took me to the bonfire when I was little and Uncle Jacob; told me a story about the wolf people. Then he gave me my teddy bear and said he'd always be here for me."

Bella took both her daughter's hands and said "You know how your daddy is different right?"

Christina said "Yes daddy is a vampire. I'm not afraid anymore I know he would never hurt me."

Bella squeezed Christina's hands and said "Do you still have that necklace? I want to show you something?"

Christina handed Bella the necklace that Jacob had wanted her to have. Bella turned the necklace over in her hands and very softly whispered "I miss you Jacob. Thank you so much for saving my little girl."

Christina asked "Mommy what does my necklace have to do with Uncle Jacob? I don't understand."

Bella sighed and said "Sweetie I don't want you to get upset. Your Uncle Jacob was different to. He was a werewolf."

Christina started to cry and Bella hugged her tight. After a long time Christina sniffled and said "Mommy I miss Uncle Jacob and Aunt Alice."

Bella sighed and said "I know my angel. Now here's your stuffed Animal and I turned on your daddy's C.D. I love you sweetheart and no more bad dreams."

At three in the morning Bella woke up to a cold hand brushing against her cheek. She rolled over and said "Tanya it's too early."

Then Bella heard the voice say "When did you become such a sour puss?"

Bella opened her eyes and said "E-Edward? What are you doing here? I've missed you but doesn't your family need you?"

Edward softly said "Shh. Love go back to sleep. I'm only here to check on you. I love you Bella."

Bella sat up and said "Edward I don't know if I can go back to sleep. I've missed you so much. Are things going well enough at home that you could afford to leave?"

Edward frowned and said "Esme thinks I'm hunting. I had to get away from everything for awhile. Bella you really need to sleep."

Bella smiled and said "Wait until Christina sees you. She was asking me all day when you were coming home."

Edward gently said "Bella go to sleep. I should go. It might take longer then I thought Bella. Alice ripped a hole in my family's heart and everyone is hurting badly."

Bella sighed and said "I'll come with you. Edward this is crazy Alice was just as much my sister as she was yours. Let me help you and your family heal. Tanya can baby sit for a few days."

Edward put his finger to Bella's lips and said "Go to sleep love."

Bella started to protest when she heard Edward humming her lullaby. Before she fell asleep she said "Kiss me."

Edward carefully kissed Bella on the lips and then watched her sleep. He was just about to leave when Christina ran clung to his leg. He bent down and said "Now what's all this? Come here my angel."

Christina let go of Edward's leg and he picked her up. Edward sat down on the end of the air mattress that Christina was sleeping on. After a while Christina sadly asked "You're going away again?"

Edward softly rubbed Christina's back and said "Yes. I'm sorry Chrissie. I'll be home before you know it ok. Now what were you doing up?"

Christina sniffled and said "I heard mommy talking to you. I wanted to give you a hug. Do you have to leave again? I've missed you daddy?"

Edward ran a hand through his hair and said "Chrissie I love you so much. You need to go back to sleep ok. I'll see you in a few weeks."

Christina lied down and said "Goodnight daddy."

In the morning Bella woke up and was surprised to see Edward sitting beside her. She took a deep breath and said "Edward what are you doing here? I love you to death but I thought you left."

Edward took Bella's hand and said "You said you wanted to help my family; I would like that very much Bella. I should warn you that things aren't going to be easy. Alice was the heart of my family. Jasper is loosing it because he's dealing with our sadness and his own. I don't want Tanya babysitting though. I want Christina to come with us. Seeing her might help Esme."

Bella stood up and said "I'll go wake her up and we'll get tickets. I love you Edward."

Christina sighed and said "Mommy it's early why do I have to get up?"

Bella smiled and said "We're going to see grandma and Grandpa. Now get up and I'll help you get dressed."

Christina's face brightened and she said "Will Uncle Jasper play with me today? The last time I was over he was very sad."

Bella shook her head and said "Honey you know how you miss Uncle Jacob very much and you feel like a part of you is missing?"

Renesmee nodded and said "Mommy why did Aunt Alice hurt us this way? Didn't she know that we all loved her? Can I do something to make Daddy and Uncle Jasper miss her less?"

Bella hugged Christina and said "I'm afraid not. However what both of us can do is go downstairs and give your father a big hug. That will brighten his day a little bit. Love can heal even the most shattered hearts. I love you Christina."

Christina nodded and said "Ok mommy. I'm ready to go."

An hour later Bella sat beside Edward and Christina on the plane. Christina buried her face in Bella's shoulder and said "I hate flying. What if we crash? Mommy I don't want to die!"

Edward reached across Bella and took Christina's hand. Then he said "Nothing is going to happen. Even if something did happen; I'd get you and your mom out first."

Christina started to cry in between sobs she said "What about you? I don't want to loose you daddy."

Edward sighed and said "I'd be fine honey. Now when we get to Grandma and Grandpa's I want you to go play with Grandma Esme. She has been having a bad time. I know you'll cheer her up."

Christina nodded and then said "Ok daddy; how much longer until we get there?"

Edward smiled and said "Soon baby girl. We will get there soon."


	10. healing hearts

**Healing hearts**

We they reached the house Christina looked at Edward and said "Daddy what can I do for Grandma and Uncle Jasper?"

Edward smiled sadly "Chrissie, you are a sweet girl but sometimes there isn't anything you can do. These things take time. Oh god, Bella I never called Esme. She thinks something happened to me."

Bella put her hand on his shoulder and said "Go talk to her now! She is probably a nervous wreck."

Edward nodded and sprinted inside. Before he even got half way into the kitchen Esme threw her arms around his neck. She softly moaned "Edward thank the Lord! I thought- I thought something terrible had happened. Why didn't you call me?"

Edward lightly gripped Esme's shoulders and said "Mom I'm alright. To be honest I needed a break. After I finished hunting I went to go check on Bella and Christina."

Esme reluctantly released Edward from her grasp. Then she nodded towards the door "Jasper is barely alive right now. Go talk to him please. You are the only one he'll listen to. I already lost a daughter; I can't loose a son to."

Just then Bella and Christina came into the kitchen. Christina tugged on Esme's shirt and laughed "Grandma!"

Esme looked down and smiled at her "I've missed you so much little one. Once you get yourself settled we can make some of those special cookies."

Christina started to answer but was cut off by a pair of big strong hands tickling her. She laughed loudly "Uncle Emmet! When I get out of this Uncle Jasper will help me beat you in wrestling."

Emmet immediately stopped tickling Christina and looked very sad. Bella sighed and put her hand on his shoulder. Edward only shook his head and went into Jasper's room. Christina went to Bella and asked "Mommy can I give Uncle Jasper a hug?"

Bella shook her head "No. I know you want to help but these things take time. If you go upstairs I bet Aunt Rosalie will play dress up."

Christina turned away from Bella and ran into the guestroom crying. Edward heard the commotion and came into the room. He heard Christina crying and said "Bella what happened? If Emmet hurt her I'll."

Bella put her hand up to stop him then she whispered "I don't know why she's upset? I told her to go play dress up with Rose and then she just snapped."

Esme gently placed her hand on Edward's shoulder "She used to play dress up with Alice. I think that's something she should avoid right now. Has Jasper started to come around at all?"

Edward closed his eyes "He talked me a little bit. He's still closed up in a little box. I don't blame him. He's lost so much. The more we push him the more he's going to pull away. Bella I'll go talk to Christina."

Edward quickly went upstairs. He could hear Rosalie trying to reassure and comfort her. Quietly he knocked on the door "Rosalie can I have a few minutes with my daughter please?"

Rosalie opened the door and turned to leave. Before she did though she tenderly kissed Christina's forehead and whispered "You'll be alright sweetheart. Tell your dad what you told me."

Christina lifted her face and looked at Edward. She sniffed "Daddy I miss Aunt Alice so much. Why did this have to happen? I feel like it's my fault."

Edward pulled Christina on his lap and said "Honey this isn't in anyway your fault. Sometimes bad things happen and there isn't anything you can do. Something else is bothering you; do you want to tell me?"

Christina sniffed and shook her head "I don't. Can you stay until I fall asleep? Promise me that you won't disappear."

Edward moved Christina off his lap gently and helped her lay down. He carefully pulled the covers over her and laughed softly to himself. Bella came upstairs and stood behind him. He sighed when he felt her touch his cheek.

Christina moaned in her sleep when Edward let go of her hand. He softly began to sing "_Goodnight my angel its time to close your eyes. Save these questions for another day. I think I know what you've been asking me. I think you know what I've been trying to say. I promised I would never leave you. You should always know no matter where you go; no matter where you are I never will be far away. Goodnight my angel now its time to sleep. There are still so many things I want to say. Remember all the songs you sang for me when we went sailing on an emerald bay. Like a boat upon the ocean I'm rocking you to sleep. The water is dark and deep. Inside this ancient heart you'll always be a part of me. Goodnight my angel now its time to dream. Dream how wonderful your life will be. Someday your child may cry. If you sing this lullaby then in your heart there will always be a part of me. Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on. They never die that's how you and I will be."_

Bella smoothed the hair out of Christina's face and breathed "She's so peaceful when she's asleep. Remember when you and I were like this? Remember when everything was so safe?"

Edward solemnly nodded "Yeah I do. I promise Bella I will do whatever it takes to make you and Christina safe again."

Bella buried her face in Edward's neck and sobbed silently. Edward didn't know what to say so he just stroked her hair and hummed her lullaby. A few minutes later Emmet timidly knocked on the door. He turned towards Edward "Is the kid still awake? I wanted to tell her I was sorry."

Edward looked at his brother with shock on his face. Emmet was never quiet or timid. Bella saw that Edward wasn't going to speak so she took over "Come here; Emmet you have nothing to be sorry for."

Emmet sat down on the floor beside the bed Christina was sleeping on then he sadly said "I made her cry. Edward I'm so sorry."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose "You didn't Emmet. This is a lot for a two year old girl to handle. Bella is right you have no reason to be sorry. Now stop being so quiet and depressed. Christina needs her big teddy bear."

Emmet sighed and said "Edward what was Alice thinking? She knew we all loved her; why did she do this?"

Bella took in a sharp breath and snapped "Both of you stop it! We are all stressed and upset. If you haven't noticed Christina is trying to sleep!"

Carlisle heard the yelling and came running upstairs. Bella gasped when she saw the look on his face. Carlisle looked older lines of worry seemed to crease his once young and perfect features.

Edward nodded his head at Carlisle thoughts but he didn't voice them. Bella stood up and rubbed Edward's shoulders gently. Then she sighed "Edward what's wrong? Do you want me to go talk to Jasper?"

Edward didn't respond he just stared blankly ahead. Then Carlisle said "Bella maybe you can reach him. I can't though he keeps telling me I'll never understand. When this family lost Alice we lost Jasper in a way."

Bella sadly nodded her head and made to go downstairs. She was stopped by Edward grabbing her hand. She faced him and said "Edward, I have to help Jasper. I'll be right back."

Edward nodded but said "It's not that, I just don't want to push Jasper too hard. The harder we push, the more he's going to pull away."

Bella put a hand on Edward's shoulder and smiled a sad smile. Then she went into Jasper's room. When she knocked on Jasper's door she heard Esme trying desperately to soothe him. She hadn't told Edward this but part of her was afraid of the pain she would see.

Esme heard Bella knock and opened the door. She wrapped Bella in a tight one arm hug. She didn't say anything but Bella saw the pained and pleading expression on her face. She squeezed Esme back and promised "He'll smile again Esme. I've not giving up on him. Jasper is my brother."

Esme let go and whispered something so quietly that Bella barely heard her. After Esme left the room Bella went and sat beside Jasper on the bed. She wasn't sure what to say to him. After what felt like forever Jasper sighed "Bella, do you think she's out there somewhere?"

Bella was caught off guard by that question. Jasper had to repeat himself twice before she answered "Of course she is. She wouldn't want you to hurt Jasper."

Jasper took an unneeded breath "Bella, I thought you of all people would understand. Alice was the center of my heart. I feel like I should have been able to protect her."

Bella reached over and placed her hand on top of his. Then she said "Jasper as much as it hurts you need to let her go. Don't think about the fact that she's gone. Instead focus on her life. Think about the night that you two met. Tell me about that night Jasper."

Jasper sniffed "I saw her sitting at a table in the diner and was drawn to her. When she said that I'd kept her waiting I said I was sorry. Then she took my hand and I felt hope. Bella I need her in my life. I miss her so much."

Bella gently moved her hand and placed it on Jasper's heart "She's still with you. We are all here for you if you need us."

Jasper looked Bella and smiled sadly at her "Thanks Bella, Edward told me about Jacob. You miss him don't you?"

Bella nodded "Jacob was my best friend. He gave his life to save my daughter and myself. I'm never going to forget him."

Jasper hugged her tightly "I never meant to hurt you Bella. Now, now don't cry, whatever you do don't cry."

Bella swiped at her eyes quickly to hide the tears from Jasper. Then she snapped in a voice harsher then she needed to "I'm not crying!"

Jasper spoke in a voice that was both gentle and firm "Bella remember what you told me?"

Bella sniffed a little "No. I really don't feel like talking, I'm just going to go to bed."

Jasper grabbed Bella's hand "Oh no you don't, come on Bella talk to me. If you won't talk at least let me calm your emotions so you can sleep."

Bella nodded "Thank you, Jasper I'm sorry for getting so upset. The last thing you need is my emotions on top of your own."

Jasper put a finger to Bella's lips "Don't Bella, you want to know why I wasn't talking to my family except Edward? I wasn't talking to them because they were treating me differently. They were tip- toeing around me like I was a newborn vampire. You and Edward were there for me but you didn't treat me like I was something unstable. Never feel sorry for your emotions."

Bella nodded "I'm just going to head to bed. Don't be afraid to open up to the rest of your family. They miss you Jasper."

Jasper gave Bella a gentle brotherly hug and sent calming waves towards her. Then he sighed "Alice really cared about you a lot you know."

Bella took a shaky breath in "I- I- I, goodnight"

Bella quickly left the room before she fell apart. Edward met her in the hall and pulled her into his arms. Bella sobbed heartbrokenly into his shirt. He gently stroked her hair and searched her face for anything that might have brought on the sudden outbreak of tears.

Bella eventually lifted her face from his shoulder "Edward I'm sorry, I should be more sensitive to your feelings. Alice was your sister; I shouldn't be acting this way. I."

Edward soothed "Bella, no, no, no. You have every right to feel the way you do. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

Bella sniffled "Jasper actually opened up. He told me everything. Then he tried to make me talk about Jake. I still can't believe he's gone. Edward I just can't."

Edward rubbed circles on Bella's back and soothed "I know Bella, I know. Now get some sleep. I'll be up in a minute."

Edward went into the guest room where Christina was sleeping. She was crying out in her sleep. Gently he ran his hand up and down her back. She woke with a start and fell sobbing into his arms. Carefully Edward lifted her into his lap and rocked her. Once her sobs become just tiny hiccups he began wiping her tears away from her pale face.

Christina took a couple of deep shuddering breaths "Daddy I saw what happened to Aunt Alice."

Edward gasped but tried to remain calm "Shh. Christina. You are ok, you're ok. What did you see?"

Christina choked out "Those other vampires who you said wanted to kill me, they threatened to kill her if she didn't join them. She didn't want to and they made it look like she killed herself."

Edward pulled his baby girl even closer to his heart. Then he asked "Honey how long have you known this? I won't get mad you can tell me."

Christina burst into tears again. In between sobs she moaned "I told Aunt Rosalie before I went to bed. I'm sorry daddy."

Edward brushed his daughter's hair away from her face "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'll sit right here until you fall asleep. Do you want me to have Uncle Jasper help you sleep?"

Christina nodded her head slowly "Can I come with you? I'm afraid to be alone."

Edward gently kissed his daughter's damp and tearstained cheeks "How about I get Aunt Rosalie to sit with you. I'll get Uncle Jasper and then be right back."

Christina whimpered but didn't argue. Rosalie came into the bedroom and hugged Christina to her chest "Did you have that nasty dream again? Uncle Jasper will make it go away. Shh. You're safe I got you. God Alice why'd you have to put a child through this?"

Edward pulled Rosalie aside "She's not dreaming. She has a gift similar to mine. The only difference is she can see a person's past thoughts. She is seeing exactly what happened to Alice."

Rosalie fell to her knees beside the bed and sobbed "I feel like such a – I'd say what I feel like but there's a child present. I resented her for something that wasn't her fault."

Edward sighed and gently put his hand on Rosalie's back "Rosalie its ok. Tomorrow morning we'll hold a family morning. It's going to hurt but at least it'll bring some closure to her death."

Rosalie took an unneeded breath "Christina you look really tired sweetie. Do you think you could go to sleep if I held your hand? Your dad will be right back."

Christina sniffled "No. If I go to sleep I'll see it again. I keep hearing her scream as they rip her apart. She died for me just like Uncle J- I miss him so much. I wish I didn't exist."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and Rosalie pulled Christina close to her stone chest. Edward lifted his daughter's face so she had to look at him "Chrissie Uncle Jacob is always with you. He's right here."

Christina looked around the room and then sobbed "He's not here!"

Rosalie gently brushed Christina's sweaty bangs off her forehead "I think you misunderstood. Jacob is in your heart. He's always going to be with you as long as you remember him."

Edward smoothed the rest Christina's hair away from her face and said "You and your mommy are the best part of my existence. I don't know what I'd do without you. What happened to Uncle Jacob and Aunt Alice isn't your fault. Sleep my angel. I'll sing to help keep the nightmares away."

Christina nodded "Daddy can I say goodnight to Uncle Jasper first?"

Edward smiled "You are stalling, lie down and I'll tuck you in. Goodnight sweetheart."


End file.
